Monday, December 28, 2009

Random Thoughts From the Ghetto-Volume 18

I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts left on my front lawn. I begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...

These random thoughts were created while wondering whatever became of the Lococo family?

-One of the best parts of midnight mass, if you're young, is watching all the older people come in drunk to church. The congretation is definitely louder and in a better mood than on an average Sunday at 11AM.

-Fat people all over Kaisertown can now rejoice. The new Tim Hortons on Clinton and Bailey seemed to be built overnight. That corner has been so ugly for so many years it almost looks like a mirage appearing from the desert. I will always be impartial to the Tim Hortons on William and Bailey and will still be going to that location.

-The KFC on Abbott Road looks like it's being constructed with walls made out of cardboard. Hopefully, the new bathroom will be inside this time. I hear it's going to be a combination KFC/Taco Bell. Some of the best urban legends from decades past involve KFC, their 11 herbs and spices, and rodents.

-The story in the paper involving Mike Cejka generated almost 200 hits a day to this blog. I guess people wanted information and the mainstream media wasn't willing to give it to them. I'm watching channel 2 news right now and I think reporter Dave McKinley might be the next guy on someone's lawn at 4AM. Where did they find this guy?

-Speakingof the news, it's snowing out so you can see all the closings under the screen. How many people are actually worried about Lackawanna Community Boxing Club being closed due to the weather? Just call the 3 or 4 people it affects.I think some of these organizations put themselves on there as a form of free advertisement.

-The funniest scene from the TV show Disorder in the Court is the skinny prisoner being led into the courtroom for a DWI offense. They take his handcuffs off and he immediately starts sprinting out the door and hurdles a barrier on his way out. I doubt if he got very far on the street wearing his orange jumpsuit.

- I was watching one of those religious shows and they showed a guy who they said was converted straight from gay with the help of religion. They said he was a "recovering homosexual". The poor guy had a lisp and you could see the flames shooting out from behind him. He was talking about how he used to be gay but was now attracted to women. He might be a recovering homosexual butI don't think he underwent a full recovery.

-Does anyone remember Ted Darling? The poor guy had some form of Parkinson's called Pick's Disease and people around him thought it was alcoholism. According to an old story in the Buffalo News, he was walking up to random people at the Boulevard mall and saying, "Hi. I'm Ted Darling. Voice of the Buffalo Sabres." I would have probably thought he was drunk too. It's hard to believe he's been dead since 1996. Thirteen years.

It was a nice Christmas this year. However, I was surprised not to see the classic Budweiser Clydesdales commercial once this holiday season. Did anybody else notice this? Well, you can relax now. We have it here. Please keep the hate mail coming. Go forth and sin no more...

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