Friday, January 22, 2010

Three South Buffalo Guys Having a Conversation

Stupid S. Buffalo Guy #1:
Hey what's up? What number are you on the latest list?

Stupid S. Buffalo Guy #2:
I'm number 242. I studied so hard for that damn test. The only reason I havent been called is because I'm white.

Stupid S. Bflo Guy #1:
Aint it? The only people they hire anymore are the blacks. Hey, that reminds me, are you going to the next Byron Brown fundraiser?

Stupid S. Bflo Guy #2:
Of course I am. I talk racist just like you but when it comes down to it, it's all talk. I was told I have to be there so of course... I will. I'll leave my manhood at the door. After we leave, we can go back to being false tough guys.

Stupid S. Bflo Guy #1:
Hey, we are really tough, aren't we? We never fight anyone one on one. We usually wait until the other guy is drunk and then find 10 other tough guys to jump him.

Stupid S. Bflo Guy #2:
Why not? Isn't that the only way to do it? That's how we show everyone in South Bflo. how tough we are. If I was you, I'd call Higgs about that job.

Stupid S. Bflo Guy #1:
Don't worry. I already called him. He told me he'd try to take care of me just like he took care of my father the fireman, my brother the cop, and my sister the police dispatcher. I called him before I even took the test. I can't wait to get called so I can tell people how I got it on my own.

Stupid S Bflo Guy #2:Hey. How's Danny doing at St. Bonaventure? You knew one of the priests to get him a great deal on tuition right?

Stupid S Bflo Guy #1:Didn't you hear? He got there and none of the other professors cared that he knew a bunch of S. Bflo political hacks. They tried to make him work just like all the other students. They even tried to get him to come to class after a night of full partying! He's at ECC now but we know a few people over there, too.

Stupid S. Bflo Guy #3:
Hey, can I borrow your green pants? I have to go honor some other stupid fool at this year's St Patrick's Day beer blast. Do you remember when this year's honoree passed out drunk at Hoppers a few years ago? Oh man, we are so damn crazy. The things we do are really zany.

Stupid S. Bflo Guy #1:
Hey Stupid S. Bflo guy #3; Who are we being ordered to vote for this year?

Stupid S Bflo Guy #3:
I'm not sure yet. But regardless of who it is or what they stand for, we'll make sure we call all of our friends and relatives because remember, we think very little of ourselves. Most of us were backups in high school so we might as well be backups in the game of life.

Stupid S Bflo Guys #1 and #2:
Damn right we were.

Stupid S. Bflo Guy #3:
You guys want to go to Docs? We can go stare at some more guys and talk about how tough they are, too.

Stupid S. Bflo Guy #2:
No. Let's go to Doctor's Pizza. Those guys are cool. They might be able to tell us who we've been told to vote for.

Stupid S. Bflo Guy #3:
They closed years ago. Nobody really knows why. Where have you been? I gotta go. I'll see you at the parade. Don't tell anyone I'm Jewish, OK?...

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