Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Random Thoughts From the Ghetto-Volume 19

I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts left on my front lawn. I begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...

The person that came up with these thoughts is not a doctor but he plays one on TV...

-Some people are telling me about some kind of "death tree" at the Botanical Gardens where everyone goes sledding. Everyone knows Southside is a steeper hill. However, more than a few people have gotten hurt slamming into this particular pine tree at the Botanical Gardens. From what I'm told, at least one adult has been seriously hurt. I guess it's deceptive because it looks harmless. Hopefully, the right person will hear about this and put something soft around it (ie. hay). Please help spread the word. I'd hate to see more people get hurt.

-What's with people saying really? when they are upset by something a kid says or does, or doesn't do? Where did this phrase come from? When did this start? I don't know but it's REALLY annoying. When a woman says it, it's mildly annoying but when a guy says it, it's twice as bad and I'm tempted to puke.

-I like when people say, "He would give you the shirt off of his back." Has anyone ever seen someone actually do this? I doubt it. And besides, who would want to wear someone else's smelly, sweaty, crusty old shirt anyway?

-I guess my distrust for local government and political hangers-on isn't going unnoticed. Over the holidays, people asked me how many death threats I've received lately and my nephew Andy gave me a used copy of The Communist Manifesto for Christmas. I actually could have used socks but that's ok.

-You can always tell you live in the ghetto by the number of mailboxes and Buffalo News "honor" boxes there are in your neighborhood. The only mailboxes anywhere near my house are at Tops and at the South Park Post Office. I remember when there were mailboxes at the S Park/Bailey HSBC bank and on Hopkins/Pries. The only Buffalo News box within 600 miles of my house is the one at the Apollo Restaurant. I guess poor people don't send out mail or read the newspaper as much as they used to.
-It's always funny when an older person gets upset and says, "When we were younger, we didn't need guns. We settled things with our fists." Come to think of it, I said that last week and it's probably true.

-I tried to pay with cash last week at the Tops on South Park and Bailey after waiting in line for six years. The one person working at the register looked at me like I was from another planet.

-It's hard to believe ECC named Jack Quinn as their President a few years back. This guy is a complete blowhard if you ask me. All he ever did as a Congressman was hand out flags to schoolchildren. Someone introduced me to him once and he acted like a complete loser. If someone was reading the paper and they said, "Look at this. Jack Quinn just got run over by a semi", I'd respond by asking them if I could borrow the Sports section. Then they go and hand the Assembly seat in Hamburg to Quinn's son. What hole did he crawl out of? As Rodney Dangerfield used to say,"Now I know why tigers eat their young." Quinn moved on to ECC after he failed at being a Washington lobbyist. The only other failed lobbyist that I know of of is Pat Gould. Gould left Washington and now spends his days sucking up to legitimate business people like Carl Paladino. From what I hear, this guy has so much confidence in himself, he would give his left testicle for the opportunity to mow Paladino's lawn once a week.

-I wonder why Julian Lennon never made any more music? He had a few songs in the 1980s that were very good. I think he sounds a great deal like his father. Here is a song from him I heard this morning while eating breakfast at McDonalds. Go forth and sin no more...

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