Saturday, January 1, 2011

Random thoughts from the ghetto-Volume 40


I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...

-My New Year's resolution is to be more opinionated this year.

-It's always funny when someone gets caught stealing the collection at church. It's especially great when they set up a hidden camera inside to catch them. How do you defend yourself against that?

-In the 90s, we had grunge singers singing depressing songs about drugs and how much they hated life. In the late 90s, some of them killed themselves or overdosed. What amazes me is how some people seemed shocked by this. They'd come up to you and say, "Can you believe so and so killed himself?" Yea. He said he was going to do it in his last CD.

-This blog is so exciting it makes 60 minutes feel like an hour.

-Did anyone ever accidentally walk into the wrong public restroom when they were kids? I'll admit it, I'm a spaz. It happened to me once or six times. You're first reaction is, "Hey, what are all these ladies doing in the men's room? And where the hell did the urinals go? Quickly followed by "Oh shit!"

-I had a similar experience once. My friends dropped me off in a blue SUV at Noco to use the ATM. I came out of the store counting my money and got back into the blue SUV. Only it wasn't the same vehicle. My friends had circled around because they were blocking traffic. Some guy in his truck thought I was going to rob him. (I actually sat down in the front seat before I realized I was in the wrong vehicle. ) I jumped out and the first thing I saw was my friends laughing hysterically, parked behind us.

-Since when did they start cutting hair at Walmart?

-It's always a sure sign that people have nothing to talk about when they talk about the weather. I love it when there is two feet of snow on the ground and the forecast calls for 50 degrees and rain for the next two days. You'll hear a lot of people say "Good, I hope it melts some of this snow." I'm no weatherman, but if it's 50 degrees and raining, I think it's safe to assume some of the snow on the ground will melt...


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