Saturday, October 31, 2009

crime stats 10/19-10/25

Monday Oct 19th

200 Miami--larceny---bike taken from the yard
1941 Seneca--(Rite-Aid)--Shoplifting/Drugs--3 arrests--Nelson Roman..Niagara st ..Lockport,Glen T Butler...Main st ..Lockport,Cassandra Taylor...West ave...Gasport...Heroin recovered.
2426 S Park--larceny--jacket taken from bar--suspect listed.
169 Folger--Attempt Burglary to both apartments----no entry--bike stolen from the yard.
114 Kelburn--Burglary--entry thru window--Playstation2,controllers,games and coins stolen.
930 Bailey--RUUV
150 Selkirk--V&T/Drugs--1 arrest--Todd Mitchell...Innesbrooke ct...Hamburg
25 Trowbridge--threats--suspect listed.
33 Fillmore--Crim mis--suspect listed.
Perry/Louisianna---threats--suspect listed.
157 Aldrich--crim mis--fence pole cut--warrant card issued.
15 Norman--harassment--suspect listed.
346 Hopkins--crim mis--suspect listed.
344 Cumberland--assault--suspect listed
81 Strathmore--threats--suspect listed.

Tuesday Oct 17th

332 Cumberland--Burglary--garage entered...drill stolen
128 S Pierce--Burglary--Toro Snowblower,golf clubs,generator,air compresor,tools stolen.
61 Pontiac--attempt Burglary--scren on garage cut---posible newer white pickup involved.
Alabama/Fulton--Robbery--2 suspects assaulted victim and took $70.00 cash.
335 Swan--Robbery--4 b/m's,16-20's,hoodies,silver auto handgun..took jewelry--fled in Dark Buick,tinted windows.
17 Remoleno--larceny of a bike--1 arrest--Jose Meza...Fernhill
282 Cumberland--larceny from a car--2 Sabres caps,change stolen.
347 Cumberland--larceny from a car--tools stolen
340 Cumberland--larceny from a car--tools stolen
90 Salem--larceny from a car--change stolen.
50 Tamarack--larceny from a car--change stolen.
54 Como--2 arrests---Cornelius Robinson..child endangering,Tiffany Wiggins..harasment.
2009 Seneca--Bad Check in the amount of $700.00
95 Hubbell--crim mis--dash damaged near stereo.
150 Southside(South Park High)--1 arrest --tresspassing---Carlos Santiago...Spaulding st
344 Perry 4a--Criminal Impersonation--person claiming to be a nurse tried to enter victims apartment.
127 Sage--crim mis--suspect did smash complts camera.
49 Woodside--threats--suspect listed.
663 Hopkins--threats--suspect listed.
1540 Seneca--Crim mis--rock thrown thru car window.
88 Mineral Springs--crim mis--rock thrown thru rear window.

Wednesday Oct 21

19 Spaulding--UUV
170 Ladner--Burglary--TV stolen while person was sleeping.
97 Rutland--Burglary--garage entered chemicals spilled on floor.
21 South Park Lake Dr--Arson--UUV burned in the woods.
84 Aldrich--larceny--warrant card issued.
43 Pries--larceny--employee stole copper over period of time.
84 Troupe--larceny from a car---purse stolen.
101 Rutland--larceny--GPS,stereo face plate stolen.
94 Rutland--larceny from a car---change stolen
175 Whitfield--larceny from a car---1 arrest--Tony Biggs..193 S Bryant...Depew NY
663 Hopkins--threats--warrant card issued.
Abbott/Cazenovia--Viol Order of Protection.--suspect listed.
150 Van Renssalaer--crim mis--window broken on car
490 N Legion--Crim Contempt--1 arrest---Kimberly Doyle...Davis Rd ..West Falls
152 Weiss--threats--suspect listed.
522 Swan st--crim mis--window broken on a car.
85 Duerstein--Crim mis---1 arrest--Tammy Pool...Duerstein
152 Lockwood--harassment--1 arrest--Anna Grady
S Park/Hamburg--assault---suspect listed.
2047 S Park--Crim Mis--2 arrests---William Timm...S Western Blvd,Zachary Brown...Whitfield.
84 Aldrich--Falsely Reporting an incident--suspect listed.

Thursday Oct 22

238 Alabama--Burglary--tools stolen
348 Abbott(Comfort Dental)--Burglary--2 computers,7 dell laptop chargerscheck book stolen.
1460 S Park(Tops)--shoplifter/drugs--1 arrest--Michael Didway...Winslow ave
589 Abbott--V&T--1 arrest--Danielle Pace...Harvey Pl..warrant for larceny.
302 Cumberland--larceny from a car--GPS,Camera,bluetooth,phones & chargers.
159 Mackinaw--crim mis/larceny from a car--window broken--2 leather jackets,tools stolen.
271 Dingens--crim mis/larceny from a truck--window broken,equipment stolen.
81 Mariemont--larecny--Gift Card stolen.
78 Sage--assault--suspect listed.
1849 Clinton--1 arrest--Drugs/endangering a child.--Robin Mitchell...Harlem Rd--Cheek.
60 Strathmore--Contempt of court--suspect listed.
350 Abbott rd--some property recovered by Dental office in this house.
1 Fulton(Casino)--1 arrest--tresspassing--Krystal Rains...Minnesota ave
11 Cliff--1 arrest---Larry alistrant jr...Pontiac--no license/False Personation.
139 Louisianna--Assault--suspect listed.
Seneca/Buffum--1 arrest--drugs--Martin Walesczak... N Legion.
Friday Oct 23

318 Holly--crim mis--tree damaged.
69 Dallas--threats--suspect listed.
111 Walter--Contempt of court order--suspect listed.
560 Dingens--Forgery--1 arrest---Katherine Donovan...North Ogden
215 Stevenson--harassment---suspect listed.
2376 S Park(Sorrento Cheese)--larceny---wallet stolen from coat in break room.
21 Alamo--drugs--2 arrests--Mary Lou Umar,Edwin Irizarry...12 bags crack,large amount of property recovered from house.
459 Perry--threats--suspect listed.
109 Riverview--Burglary--DVD player,cash,medication stolen.
515 Abbott suite 508--larceny--purse stolen.
153 Barnard--crim mis/larceny from a car--window pried open---stereo stolen.
146 Fillmore--1 arrest--drugs--Nina McCabe...Lord st
Fillmore/Clinton---V&T/Drugs--1 arrest---Jeffery Trala...Alabama st

Saturday Oct 24th

2199 Seneca--Forgery/Larceny--1 arrest--David Morris...Lovejoy
77 Sage--assault from 9-11-09--1 arrest---David Morris...Lovejoy st
A District--1 arrest--warrant---Rashawn Brown...Fay st
132 Cumberland---harassment--suspect listed.
Hopkins/Tifft--Robbery--victim assaulted by 3 males--2 known and had jewelry and phone stolen.
133 Holly--larceny--envelope stolen with cash & credit cards.
35 Cazenovia--crim mis/larceny from a car--window broken,purse stolen.
997 Exchange--crim mis--windows broken out of car--suspect listed.
158 Weimar--UUV

Sunday Oct 25th

1941 Seneca(Rite-Aid)--Shoplifter---B/M,30's,6'1",400 lbs,B/F late 20's,small build stole 30 packs of batteries and fled store.Green SUV.
975 Abbott rd(Wilson Farms)--shoplifting--W/M,50's,5'7",heavy stole beer,fled in full size white van.
111 Shenandoah--UUV/Ruuv---vehicle recovered in the Botanical Gardens--burned out.
164 Parkview--Burglary--2 Tv's stolen.
376 Louisianna--Comtempt of Court--1 arrest---Anthony Fomby
21 Eaglewood--phone threats---suspect listed.
505 Hopkins--assault--1 arrest---Michael Osborne
291 Bailey--V&T--1 arrest--Styles Salter..Walden ave--74 bags of marijuana recovered.
30 Kamper--assault--1 arrest---Jeffery Battles....Duerstein st

Friday, October 30, 2009

Mrs. Clinton Goes to Pakistan

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton celebrates Halloween one day early on her recent trip to Pakistan. This is not a joke (She actually put one of these things on.)

Hillary Clinton had some strong words recently for the leaders of Pakistan. She told them we would have been able to capture more senior Al Quaida leaders if these terrorists weren't receiving help from the Pakistani government. Clinton then promised to bring 200,000 new jobs to the country just like she did for Upstate New York.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Random Thoughts From the Ghetto-Volume 11

I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and I begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...

-It's always funny when someone tries to sell one of their kids on Ebay. You hear about this happening in the news every once in awhile. What are these people thinking? Back when we were kids, our parents used to just threaten to send us to Father Baker's.

-Another thing I like is when someone tries to 'ship' themselves via UPS. I know this has happened a few times. I wonder if anyone has ever been successfull at this. If it absolutely, positively has to be there over night...

- You can always tell you're in the ghetto by the way people drive. I know sometimes people drive crazy in nice neighborhoods. However, the poor are the worst drivers ever. I live off of Hopkins. Not Hopkins Rd. Hopkins St. I usually drive the speed limit or a few MPH above it. Almost daily, cars fly by me and pass me on the right side of the road. They look like they could be going 55 MPH on a road constantly occupied by pedestrians. I'd like to get a flashing sign on my rear view window that says, "Slow down white trash!" However, I wouldn't want to discriminate against my other neighbors (black and hispanic) who also drive the same way. There are many other nice neighbors here but come on. We know you are going to buy fireworks, cigarettes, or just sit on someone's porch until 3AM. Why are you in such a hurry?

-It's deer hunting season, so everyone knows what that means. Stay away from Chinese restaurants!

-I plan on starting a business someday. I don't know what we'll be selling but I have a feeling it will involve an abandoned, makeshift office.

-Halloween was always a fun night in my neighborhood. Actually, it was a fun few nights. We would sometimes go to West Seneca where they would pass out candy the night before Halloween. It was called beggar's night and believe me, we lived up to the name. Halloween in our South Buffalo neighborhood was also good. You'd always hear these horrible stories about "bushwackers" or "bagsnatchers". These were the teenagers that would go around looking for kid's bags to steal, quite a noble profession.
The best part of Halloween was going to Marino's Pizza on S. Park. They always gave out these tiny, free slices of pizza. We would change costumes and go back again until we were full. The worst givers were the people who passed out religious pamphlets instead of candy. Come on. If you're going to do that, you might as well just turn off your lights and not give out anything. You have 364 other days each year to spread your faith, couldn't you just staple a Reese Cup to one of your propaganda sheets? Go forth and sin no more...

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Beware-Cross Dressing Freak on the Loose

So, according to this story in today's Buffalo News, there are guys walking around at 5 in the morning on a Tuesday night looking to rob underwear. Scary. This guy is willing to pull out a knife and be charged with armed robbery over a pair of $35 hot pink underwear. I wonder what Irv Weinstein would have to say about this? People told me it would be hard to find material for this blog?...

Armed robber steals hot pink underwear

An armed robber escaped with some hot pink underwear from a Niagara Street adult gift shop early Tuesday, according to Buffalo police reports.

A representative for the Great American News store at 1700 Niagara St. told police the thief entered the building at about 5:45 a. m. brandishing a knife. He then proceeded to throw a display case to the ground and stole the underwear, valued at $35. It was unclear whether he made off with any other items, police said.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Life Imitates Fairy Tale

Check this out. Parks workers and visitors snapped several photos of three feral pigs roaming around Allegany State Park. Reportedly, they were being followed by a very large wolf.

The pigs hurried off into the woods but when asked to comment, a spokesperson for them said, "Go away. Or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down." This site has just reached a new low.

Facebook Allows Dead People To Create Profiles

Facebook will do anything to get more subscribers. Today, they actually made it possible for people to memorialize their deceased friends by creating profiles for them. All you have to do is show them an obituary. Because as you know, dead people like social networking sites just as much as you and I do.

I think they are taking things a little too far with this one, though. Can you imagine the pranks that are going to result from this? How are you going to react when you get an instant message from one of your dead relatives? I wonder if artists are going to have more Facebook friends in death than they had while living. Will the deceased be able to form groups on the site like Facebook dead people in favor of the Metric system? How about, We want them to bring back the old Facebook, too? And don't get me started on those ridiculous Facebook quizzes. Which Star Wars character would you be if you were still breathing?

Every day, I wake up and am shocked at what they will think of next. Next week, expect them to come up with some way for your pet dog to send Twitter alerts.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Gowanda Unmarked Graves Restored

I thought this was an interesting story from today's Buffalo News. Volunteers have worked for the past two years to restore 1,200 anonymous graves of mentally ill patients from the Gowanda Psychiatric Center. They were buried between 1898 and 1994, when the center closed. If the person was a Protestant, the grave was marked with a wreath and a number. If the person was Catholic, it was marked with a cross and a number. Back in the past, the institutionalized were deemed 'not worthy' of a proper burial by the state and even some of their families. All records with the actual names of the deceased were lost after the hospital closed in 1994.

A group calling itself Operation Dignity has led the effort nationally along with People, Inc. locally. Also, students from St. Bonaventure University and Siena College are performing much of the physical labor which is being overseen by officials from the Collins Correctional Facility.
With all the negative stories we are bombarded with these days, here is a positive story. People could have simply forgotten about the deceased in this story. They didn't. It doesn't specify in the story but somewhere, someone decided they were going to make a difference and right this terrible wrong. Hats off to whoever that was.

International Update: Saudia Arabia

An anthropologist would say, who are we to judge the norms of another society? But then, you hear stories like this and wonder if it is not a basic human rights violation. A Saudi Arabian man was sentenced to five years in jail and 1,000 lashes for bragging about his sex life on a popular Saudi television show. He was charged with "publicizing vice", not to be confused with the 80s show Miami Vice. In the US, such a guy would just be made fun of at his neighborhood tavern.

Al-Jami, a 'fixer' who books guests on the show, got off easy. She was sentenced to 60 lashes and a two year travel ban. So much for freedom of the press. This is a country that still gives lashes to rape victims. I love it when people criticize this country. I wonder how many lashes critics like me would be sentenced to? I hardly doubt they would waste their time with lashes.
Saudi journalist sentenced to 60 lashes -*

In a similar story, 20 foreigners face lashing and prison terms for attending a party where alcohol was served and men and women danced. Wasn't this the premise for the 80s movie Footloose? Maybe a Saudi Arabian version of the movie is in the works. Remind me not to leave New York state.


Sunday, October 25, 2009

International Update: Russian Bears

In Russia last week, a bear on ice skates fatally attacked 25 year old circus hand Dmitry Potapov and critically wounded another man trying to save him. I'm surprised this happened. You don't hear that much about bears in entertainment attacking their handlers except for the 50 or so other cases documented this year.

Why would a 700 lb. wild animal become upset if you trained it to play ice hockey or ride a motorcycle? My all time favorite bear attack is this incident caught on tape. These idiots in Poland brought their pet brown bear into a lit TV studio to do some tricks. The bear didn't care much for all the lights in the studio or the reporter's perfume and started mauling everything in sight. Luckily, nobody was seriously hurt in this incident.

In many cases, something as simple as a toothache can set them off. Trust me. If a bear decides he's having a bad day, you're having a bad day, too. Bears have a cute way of telling you that they are upset. They drag you around by your neck. This just in. Bears are wild animals that don't naturally associate with people. It might be a good idea to let them ride their own motorcycles in the woods.
Ice skating bear kills Russian circus hand -*

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Health Care Debate

I know a great deal about health care reform. In fact, I used to wash dishes at Mercy Hospital in Buffalo. Actually, I don't know anything about health care reform. That's the problem. The powers that be are not selling the proposed changes to the current system to the common person.

Where are the strong citizen activist reformers? Have they been silenced by the pharmaceutical companies? I don't know. I can't get excited about Obama's plan because I don't know any specifics about it. I know, like with everything else, the wealthy have better health care than you and I in this country. I remember people were dropping like flies in the early nineties with the AIDS virus, yet Magic Johnson looked like the picture of health. I think if people were told how the new plan was going to affect them, it might gain some momentum.

The following is a clip courtesy of my sister Teresa, of Senator Al Franken (formerly known as Stuart Smalley) addressing Diana Furchtgott-Roth, a Hudson Institute Senior Fellow on bankruptcies due to health care. I don't like when people ask questions that they already know the answers to. It's also funny when Furchtgott-Roth asks Franken a question about cancer survival rates. She tried to turn the tables on him with a question she knew the answer to. You can tell these two don't like each other.

I wonder who was the first woman to add her maiden name to her married name with a hyphen? Mary Magdaline-Smith? How did this lady become a senior fellow? Wouldn't they come up with a different name for women in this position besides fellow? Also, did you know Al Franken admits to being a former cocaine user? He doesn't look like a druggie but you never can tell. Anyway, someone tell me when the health care debate reaches you and I. Until then, expect to see more long boring hearings like this. At least this exchange was entertaining.

crime stats 10/12-10/18

Gay as a goose.

Crazier than a loon.

There were lots of smash and grab car break ins in the city. The thieves look in the car. They break the glass and steal what they want. It's not a good idea to leave anything valuable in your car, especially overnight. It's a huge pain to get the window replaced. This is one quality of life crime I wish the city would get serious about enforcing. There are many criminals downtown who do this daily as a living. Even if caught, these crooks are out of jail shortly, thereafter. Thank you lenient judges.

Monday Oct 12th

111 Colgate--Burglary--wood pryed off back door--unknown larceny at this time.
89 Weaver--UUV--car stolen why owner was warming it up with the keys in the ignition.
1460 S Park(TOPS)-larceny--cell phone stolen
2050 S Park--larceny--white coat stolen from laundry.
891 S Park--prowler call--unknown person(s)--did try to remove several items from the yard.
868 E Eagle--phone harssment --suspect listed.
79 Kentucky--RUUV
300 Dorrance--assault--
1956 Seneca--harassment--suspect listed.
69 Gorski-harassment--suspect listed.
22 Pries--assault---1 arrest--Michael Hoopengarner...Pries ave
826 Seneca--Traffic Stop/Drugs--3 arrests--Aaron Wright...Sprenger,Jarvis Whiters..Kermit,Nicole Pupenbroke...Exchange st.
127 weaver--crim mis--brick thrown thru car window,car keyed,suspect listed.

Tuesday Oct 13th

194 Southside Apt #1--Burglary games,laptop,jewelry stolen.
1849 Clinton--Burglary--cash & credit card stolen.
171 Crystal--burglary--computer,monitor and TV stolen..suspect listed.
171 Crystal(upper)--Burglary--laptop stolen.
193 Hancock--larceny--compuetr,keys and bank card stolen.
154 O'Connell--crim mis/larceny from car--drivers window broken--IPOD with charger stolen.
150 Sidway--crim mis/larceny from car--window smashed--cell phone stolen
16 Remoleno--larceny--IPOD stolen
274 Miami--Crim mis/larceny from a car--driver side window broken,IPOD,Camera,wallet stolen.
148 Vandalia--larceny from a car--IPOD,IPOD docking station,knife stolen.
274 Miami--crim mis/larceny from a car--drivers window broken,paperwork stolen,meds taken.
61 Sidway--crim mis/larceny from a car--driver side window broken,stereo stolen.
28 Sidway--crim mis/larceny from a car--driver side window broken,stereo,cash stolen.
314 Fenton--assault--1 arrest--Thomas Welch..Fenton st
Chicago/S Park--assault--warrant card issued.
206 Babcock--threats--possible suspect listed.
839 Perry--Child Neglect--1 arrest--Lisa Golston.
195 Culver--assault--1 arrest--Mone Witherspoon...Peckham st
140 Macamley--assault--warrant card issued.
58 Crystal--harassment--suspect listed.
365 Perry--Assault--warrant card issued.

Wednesday Oct 14th

1167 S Park--drugs--1 arrest--Alberto Dejesus...Altruria...
417 Perry--crim mis--suspect listed.
45 Rutland--assault--1 arrest--Kirk McCabe...Lakewood ave
1005 Abbott(Reeses Store)--Burglary--1 arrest--Michael Woelfle..137 Gilbert st
167 Parkview--fight--4 arrests---Steven Santiago..Hudson st,Daniel Colon...West ave,Joshua Rojas...Rhode Island st,Michael Rivera..Maryland ave...all arrested for disorderly conduct.
16 Carter --assault--1 arrest--Pamela Nendza.
19 Hopkins--men cutting trees in Botanical Gardens--2 arrests--Timothy Waz..S Park ave,Michael Waz..Lake rd..Silver Creek
Princeton/Seneca--Harassment--1 arrest--Robert Butler..Forestal..west Seneca
2085 S Park--Burglary--entry thru rear door.Cash stolen from drawer and safe.
113 Peabody--larceny--suspect listed.
185 Columbus--phone threats--suspect listed.
91 Kentucky--UUV--2006 Polar ATV--Bright Yellow--NYREG 96YP65.
2259 S Park--crim mis--several car windows broken--possible suspect listed.

Thurs Oct 15th

1907 James E Casey--larceny--cell phone stolen--suspect listed.
51 Pritchard--larceny--unk B/M did steal gas chop saw and fled in black van towrds Seneca st.
A District--1 arrest--warrant--Kathy Lambert...Aurora ave ..West Seneca
173 Smith--Burglary--entry thru bathroom window---60" tv, jewelry,playstation & games stolen.
2334 S Park--Burglary--window broken in front of house.
995 Abbott--crim mis/trespassing--2 vehicles in rear yard damaged.
17 Mesmer--crim mis--warrant card issued.
A District--1 arrest--warrant--Glendon Hummel Irving NY
346 Hopkins--threats--suspect listed.
1179 Seneca--Crim mis--unknown vehicle did damage lot around (THE Buffalo) at Seneca/Babcock.
2263 S Park--harassment--suspect listed.
312 Smith--crim mis--driverside mirror broken.
East Aurora PD--1 arrest--Buffalo warrant--Kimberly Doyle..N Legion.
Mineral Springs/Hillery--1 arrest--Falsely reporting an incident--Ronald Newman...Benzinger st
1998 Clinton--threats--warrant card issued.
28 Wasson--threats--suspect listed.
7 Zittel--threats--warrant card issued.

Friday Oct 16th

297 S Ogden--UUV
2326 Seneca--larceny--25 screens removed from driveway
445 Abbott--larceny--wallet taken from counter
2097 Seneca(Buz n Bee)--larceny--1 arrest--Juan Ortiz..Edson st printed out 5 money orders and stole them.
858 S Park--Burglary--1 arrest--Felix Puyavena...Perry st..climbed thru upper window stole 5 DVDs
2085 S Park--Burglary--upper door forced open--2 inside doors damaged.
727 Bailey(Bowl INN)--Burglary--entry thru trap door,register stolen.
77 Weyand--harassment--suspect listed.
2426 S Park--tresspassing --1 arrest--Melissa Strobele...Abbott rd
42 Gorski--assault--warrant card issued.
1410 Fuhrmann--1 arrest--posesion of froged Registration sticker---Russell Fuller..Abbott rd
223 Smith--1 arrest--Tyson Williams..Endangering child,harassment.
407 S Division--crim mis--damage to front entry door.
297 S Ogden--RUUV

Saturday Oct 17th

1610 S Park--crim mis/larceny from a car--rear window smashed..GPS,stereo,camera stolen.
A District--1 arrest--warrant--Anthony Diana...Norman st
50 Weiss--threats with a knife--suspect listed.
N Legion/Yale--Robbery--2 unknown B/M's did assault and rob victim of $40.00.
757 Bailey--assault--suspect listed.
159 Mineral Springs---larceny from a car--Garmin GPS,coins,house keys stolen.
Clinton/Bailey--Contempt of court order--warrant card issued.
West Seneca PD--1 arrest--Buffalo warrant---Amber Maude..Edson st
34 Seminole--RUUV
26 Riverview--assault--warrant card issued.
33 Wheelock--threats--warrant card issued.
213 Mineral Springs--crim mis--rear window on car broken.
34 Seminole--harassment---1 arrest--Randall Tesmer ..Whitfield ave
490 N Legion--threats---warrant card issued.
2140 Seneca--1 arrest--William Krebs...Weyand st---disorderly conduct.
Marilla/S Park--1 arrest--James Garry....Marilla st....for stalking.
1267 Seneca--threats--1 arrest---Charles Rodriguez..Seneca st
295 Cable--assault--suspect listed.
16 Dash--larceny of a bike--1 arrest---Decarrio Sanders...Macamley st

Sunday Oct 18th

59 Huessy --larceny from a car--change,insurance card,Tim Hortons gift card stolen.
1749 S Park--larceny--purse stolen.
33 Wheelock--larceny--suspect listed.
84 Zittle--larceny--suspect listed
123 Culver--larceny--telescope taken from the garage--suspect listed.
1608 S Park--crim mis--broken car window
80 Good--assault--warrant card issued.
A District--RUUV--3 arrests--Rocco Ballachino...Red Jacket Pkwy,Johnnie Small..Kosciusko st,Vickie Robinson..Kosciusko st.
Seneca/Babcock--1 arrest--Erica Sprandel...false impersonation.
61 Mineral springs--harassment--suspect listed.

Friday, October 23, 2009

New Restaurant Opens on Seneca St.

Francesca's, a new Italian restaurant, has opened on Seneca St. It took over two years for Steve Marchione to transform the 87 year old building from a tavern into a restaurant. Years ago, the tavern was called Marchione's and used to have a legendary karaoke night on Saturdays. I give credit to anyone willing to start a small business in today's tough economic climate and wish them great success. Please contribute to the revitalization of the Seneca St. neighborhood and give this new restaurant a try.
Francesca’s opens on Seneca Street*

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Random Thoughts From the Ghetto-Volume 10

I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and I begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...

- The government program that resulted in the most insults was the Reagan administration's 'free cheese' program. At some point, someone told Reagan the country's poverty problem could be solved by giving out free cheese products to the poor. I can't tell you how many times I heard someone start a rant by saying, 'I saw your mamma standing in the free cheese line' in the 1980s. Back then, people called it 'ribbing' when you insulted your peers. In the 90s, they called it 'curving'. Today, I don't hear it much with the school kids. I guess that's one area where we've come to evolve as a species.

-Sailors and truckers might disagree but I think the people with the worst language are garbagemen. You do that for enough years and everything starts to hurt. I worked as a garbageman briefly during the 90s and I started swearing at the drop of a hat. It might be slightly easier now with the mechanical totes but back then it was tough work. Also, it seemed like in Buffalo, every garbage lifter was Irish and every foreman was Italian.

-I don't care what medicines they come up with. The best cure for the common cold is chicken soup, water with lemon or honey, warm salt water, and rest. Everything else just hides the symptoms a little. These things actually speed up the healing process. Nothing else works.

-The best night spot downtown is the Pearl St. Grille. You can always go there and find a nice crowd. It's always a relaxed atmosphere and the staff is always very accommodating. They also have great food. You go there and you almost forget you're in the vast wasteland known as downtown Buffalo. This place is so big it never gets overcrowded but there always is a big crowd there. It's a great place to watch a sporting event also.

-I was driving down Mckinley Pkwy the other day and I saw the new statue of 'the Irish immigrant'. In front of it, in bold letters, it says 'another South Buffalo Alive Project'. I have never seen a group consisting of three people, who was better at self promotion than this group. Another S. Buffalo Alive Project? Give me a break. That's the only one of their projects I can name. This group gets money from almost every branch of local government to plant flowers and constantly promote themselves in the Metro Community. The balloon boy's father thinks this groups leader is excessive in her self-promotion efforts. What a complete waste of tax dollars. Last I saw, their leader was trying to scare people into thinking they were going to move Cazenovia Park. Yeah, that's going to happen. Some bright people over there.

-They can call it Gallagher Beach. They can call it whatever they want. The only thing most of us will ever call it is it's given name: Welfare Beach. Speaking of which, I always had great respect for anyone that jumped off of Cargills into Lake Erie. They had more courage than I ever would.

-Do you remember the Branch Davidians from Waco, Texas? In 1993, they were holed up in their commune for months at the orders of their leader, David Koresch. The standoff lasted for months and had a tragic ending culminating with a huge fire and many deaths. Koresch himself had somebody shoot him rather than die in the fire with the rest of his congregation. There is a group of followers that believe Koresch is going to rise from the dead in 2012 and cast judgement on all nonbelievers. If he does that, I hope he at least gets his own reality show. Ok. I had no joke but wanted a good segway to play this song. I heard it on the radio today and haven't heard it in awhile. Go forth and sin no more.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Guastaferro's From Amherst

The Guastaferro family might be the most annoying family I've ever seen. They live in East Amherst. I'm happy to hear they are now being investigated by the FBI for tax and money-laundering. They went on the show Wife Swap (I wonder if they know Balloon Boy's father?). They were the rich family with no values. They give their precious 15 year old daughter a gift every day from under a Christmas tree. Watch this clip. My favorite part is when daughter Alicia says, 'I do feel sorry for people who are not gorgeous people.'

At least now thanks to Youtube, the family is being made fun of across the English speaking world. As well they should be. What a disgrace to humanity.

Guastaferro couple are said to seek plea bargain*

Orchard Park Leaders Openly Discriminate Against Poor Seniors

I found this article in today's Buffalo News to be hysterical. People, Inc. wanted to move lower income senior citizens into some Orchard Park apartments. An Orchard Park's zoning official said in a letter that they needed to see the zip codes of the people moving in. If the zip codes are not from Clarence or Amherst, forget about the idea. Leaders in Orchard Park aren't racist or anything. They don't discriminate. They despise you if you are poor-even if you are a poor white family. Why not just tell the truth?

Longtime Councilwoman Nan Ackerman can't believe anyone would insinuate that Quakertown discriminates in housing. She says there are plenty of black people living there. Records show that 5 out of every 1,000 residents are black. 133 out of 27,483. And that was probably taken in the month of October when the Buffalo Bills players live there. The only thing Ackerman didn't say was 'some of my best friends are black'.
She says town officials are concerned about all the potential paramedics calls they might get. Hilarious. What a ridiculous lie. Just admit it. You don't want anyone from Buffalo or Lackawanna (white or black) coming into your town. Nothing like stupid, ignorant people to make me laugh. I hope the planning board gets sued and I hope Councilmember Nan is forced to publicly explain who gave her the first name Nan.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

South Buffalo's Own Balloon Boy

Brian Higgin's Rubber Stamp- Erie County Legislator Tim Kennedy

Original Balloon Boy

We all know last week's story of balloon brat was a hoax perpetrated by his equally annoying father. We're learning today that Richard Heene, AKA father of balloon boy, is also a former TV weatherman. That explains a lot.

Here is the story of "Lawn chair" Larry Walters. He was way ahead of balloon boy. Walters was the California guy that strapped his lawn chair to 42 helium balloons and flew up to 16,000 feet into the sky. He went up with a BB gun to shoot out the balloons so he could land. For some reason, the story doesn't start until about 30 seconds into this clip. Walters sold the rights to his story and is rumored to become a millionaire.Listen to the sound of his girlfriend's screeching voice and you have to wonder if, despite this, he's still happy to have survived the flight.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Pigeon Droppings in Albany

The Buffalo News uses the word brazen. The Majority Leader of the New York Senate, Pedro (Don't call me Eric) Espada, has created a $70,000.00 no-show job for political hack David Pfaff. Pfaff's claim to fame is being friends with Steve Pigeon and Billionaire Tom Golisano. Remember, these were the same idiots that tried to give 'Baby Slow' Mesi his no-show job a few months ago. Golisano wouldn't pay one of the Sabres $70,000.00. Why should we pay one of his friends $70,000.00?

The job is being called an "upstate liason" to the Senate. Are you kidding me? That's what the people of Western New York elect their Senators to do. Entrenched Senators Bill Stachowski, Dale Volker, and Antoine Thompson were all 'elected' by the ignorant fraction of voters they call their constituents. Where do they stand on this ridiculous hire? They are all silent.

We tried to reach Senator Stachowski for comment. He was last seen on Route 5 asking motorists for directions to his Clinton St. office. Espada represents a poor district from the Bronx yet lives in an affluent New York suburb. Stachowski represents S. Bflo and Kaisertown yet lives in Lake View. The state is in great debt. All of us have paid the new fees created because of outrageous things like this. Please help spread the word and call for this new 'job' to be eliminated.

Sam Hoyt- Entrenched Bozo Now is an Expert on Education

Assemblyman Sam Hoyt, a guy who would be digging ditches if his father wasn't Bill Hoyt, has come out with a new bill calling for the dramatic overhaul of schools. Hoyt, the Assemblyman who wrote those embarrassing emails to his twenty year old intern last year knows all about drama. He loves to grandstand in front of the cameras with his made up phony accent. In fact, Buffalo Teachers Union President Phil Rumore says, 'the most dangerous place in the world is between Assemblyman Sam Hoyt and a TV camera.'

Now,'Hollywood' Hoyt is an expert on Education. Give me a break. He claims the bill is partly due to frustration with the status quo. Yeah right. Sam Hoyt is the status quo! He's been in Albany since the mid 80s and has done absolutely nothing. He's a career politician and a walking advertisement for term limits.

According to the article, his bill is marked with hot button issues.The bottom line is this. If the Buffalo schools want to get better, they need to get everyone on board to restore order in the classroom. Start teaching these students discipline and consequences at an early age. Create alternative schools for the worst behaved students to separate them from the students who are willing to learn. Start holding some of these parents responsible for the behavior of their children. Sam Hoyt is the last person anyone should listen to regarding Education. This guy is a buffoon who has been in office way too long.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

One Bills Drunk

Here is an interesting article in The Buffalo News regarding rowdiness at the Bills games. A few years back, the team was struggling to draw crowds. The excitement of Doug Flutie combined with a new regional marketing strategy has changed all of that. Despite several years of losing seasons, the team continues to draw capacity crowds. However, many of the people attending the games from all over the place are not football fans as much as drinking fans. They start at 8AM on their bus rides and continue in the parking lot before games. Many are too drunk to be allowed into the stadium. It's really gotten crazy at One Bills Drive.

You would think that most of the drunks would be college age but you would be wrong. People in their 40s and 50s take part in the drinking games before the game. It's become about the tailgating experience and the game itself is secondary. It is a binge drinking fest. The article claims it is a small minority of the crowd that gets out of hand but I don't know if I agree with that assessment.

You can't blame the team officials. Their goal is to put people in the seats. They stop selling beer at halftime, there's a jail set up within the stadium, and they only allow people to buy two beers at a time. I hear too many stories of drunken fans throwing their drinks on people or throwing up all over the place. If that's what they consider fun, have a good time. People go to the Sabres games and drink and don't get that crazy. Keep your eyes on this story as I think things could get worse before there are any changes.
Tailgating to the extreme*

Saturday, October 17, 2009

crime stats 10/5-10/11

I think it's safe to say, Duerstein St. has it's share of problems. Also, it's safe to go to the Stop-N-Gas on Hopkins/Tifft. They were robbed and probably won't be hit again for 3-4 weeks.

Monday October 5th

Clinton/Jefferson--Larceny of a bike
142 Ryan--larceny--lock box stolen
S Park/Amber--larceny--wallet stolen of counter at Wilson/Farms
567 Exchange--larceny--over $13,000 worth of items ordered by unknown person from 84 Lumber stolen from this location.
S Park/Sheffield (Taltys)--larceny---$160.00 cash ,medication stolen from purse.
62 Cable--Burglary--safe,several guitars stolen.Safe found at foot of Weimar st.
220 Stevenson--Burglary--2 boilers stolen from garage.
11 Good--Burglary---copper piping stolen.
81 Aldrich--ID Theft--utilities turned on in victims name.
36 Trowbridge--Viol of Order of Protection--suspect listed.
819 McKinley--RUUV
157 Elk(School 33)--harassment from 10-1-09--Suspect arrested on 10-13-09.
173 Smith--assault---1 arrest--Shanna Edwards...Weaver st
Fillmore/Clinton--prostitution-1 arrest--Kelly Sullivan...Metcalfe st

Tuesday October 6th

155 Bailey(NOCO)--larceny--employees credit card stolen off counter.
41 Duerstein--larceny--$200.00 used on benifit card.
Cazenovia/N Legion--Robbery--2 arrests
Houghton Park--Robbery from 6-13-09--1 arrest--John Lattimer...Weimar st
103 Weimar--Drugs--1 arrest--Justin Janczylik...Humbolt..Angola NY
45 Troupe--3 arrests--marihuana..Donald Kemnitzer..Troupe st,Anthony Gretzler..Wheelock,Kachary
Kemnitzer...Troupe st.
45 Troupe--UUV--1 arrest--Donald Kemnitzer
McKinley/Bloomfield--Assault--suspect listed.
1075 William--Issuing Bad Check--Suspect listed.
197 S Legion--Burglary--broken basement window..$70.00 dollars stolen.Grandson was arretsed for Burglary here on later date.
420 Willet--Assault--1 arrest--Miroslav Masny...Willet st

Wednesday October 7th

41 Lilac--larceny--GPS stolen from car
194 Southside--larceny--guitar stolen--suspect listed.
319 Holly--Possesion of Forged Instrument/Larceny--1 arrest--Anthony Busard....Holly St
108 Cazenovia--larceny from a car--pas window broken--2 MP3 players stolen.
25 Abbott--Crim mis--window broken on car
1249 Clinton- phone threats
7 Folger--Assault--suspect listed.
39 Mt Vernon--Assault--warrant card issued.
69 Whitfield--threats

Thursday October 8th

931 Exchange--Narcotics--1 arrest---Jamell Scott..Clarence st..Bflo
220 stevenson(garage)--Burglary--1 arrest--Daniel Zaccarine...Stephenson st...West Seneca
462 Willet--Assault--suspect listed.
1111 Fuhrman--crim mis--portable sign damaged.
27 Kamper--assault--suspect listed.
122 sage--Violation of order of Protection---1 arrest--Michael Delaney...Sage st--arrested 10-08-09.
90 Hamburg--larceny--GPS,phone charger,wire snippers stolen from car
701 Seneca Suite 500--Burglary--suspect listed.
103 Orlando--phone harassment--suspect listed.
418 S park--Fraud--9 Checks cashed for $5,000 all fake & returned by bank.
133 Tennessee--Crim Mis/larceny from a car--broken window--IPOD ,IPOD dock stolen.
94 OConnell--larceny from a car--GPS,cash,IPOD stolen.
249 Babcock--crim mis--rock thrown thru window.
422 Louisianna--MRU search warrant--1 arrest--Rashawn Pennick...Johnson st---49 Bags crack,2 shotguns recovered.

Friday October 9th

Seneca/Duerstein--False Impersination--1 arrest--Charles Zaccarine..used dead brothers name.
Hamburg PD--1 arrest--Buffalo warrant--Darryle Canamme...Lynn O Park
54 Hopkins--phone threats
363 Hopkins(Stop N Gas)--Burglary--window smashed--cigarettes taken,computer stolen.
14 Wasson--threats--suspect listed.
A District--1 arrest--warrant--Thomas Burtis..East Main st...Gowanda
40 Delaware--Forgery--1 arrest--Charles Zaccarine-attempt to avoid 2 warrants --used dead brothers name.
64 Duerstein--Burglary--money,medication,cologne stolen.

Saturday October 10th

40 Hayden--threats--suspect listed.
1926 Clinton--crim mischief--2 windows broken.
60 Ryan--assault--1 arrest---Patrick Shea...ryan St
A District--1 arrest--Burglary warrant---Mark Jozwiak...Colby st..Cheektowaga
A District--1 arrest--Tresspass/Crim mis--Mark Jozwiak
1460 South ParkCounterfeit money--suspect listed...Secret Service Notified.
341 Perry--larceny--license plate stolen.
197 S Legion-Burglary--suspect --Mark Jozniak...Colby Cheektowaga
197 S Legion--Burglary--above suspect(grandson)--broken in several times.

Sunday October 11th

279 Perry --crim mis/larceny from a car--window smashed--Stereo,IPOD,GPS stolen.
125 Arbour Lane--crim mis/larceny from a car--pass window smashed--wallet,cash stolen.
125 Arbour lane--crim mis/larceny from a car--rear window broken--medical items stolen.
173 Smith--threats--warrant card issued.
308 Fenton--UUV
1895 Clinton--Assault--friends boyfriend assaulted victim.
Hamburg PD--1 arrest on Buffalo warrant--Justin T Frank...Sheva Lane ..Hamburg--DWI warrant.
E Aurora PD...1 arrest--Buffao warrant--Rochell Lombardo..Fulton st ...Aggravated Unlicensed Operation.
459 Perry--Crim Mis/larceny from a car--window broken--stereo stolen.
278 Willet--threats--suspect listed.
45 Duerstein--harassment--1 arrest--Jeffery Treda ..Duerstein st
S Park/Altruria--Contempt of court Order--suspect listed.
1872 Seneca --assault--1 arrest--Carl Nye...Seneca St

Irish Tenor Puts Foot in Mouth

It's obvious from his naturally good looks why Ronan Tynan finds Jewish women to be 'scary'.

It's always funny to me when a famous person makes racist remarks. Remember when Mel Gibson made those bizarre anti-Semitic remarks or Jessie Jackson referred to New York City as Hymietown?

Famed Irish tenor (why do they always put the word famed in front of his name?) Ronan Tynan has been banned from singing God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch at Yankee Stadium because of anti-Semitic remarks he made to a real estate agent during a chance encounter last week. Incidentally, when did the Anaheim Angels move to Los Angeles?

I've never been a big fan of Tynan. He seems to be a fair weather fan. He supports winning teams and tries to make the game about him. Remember when the Sabres were one of the best teams in the league a few years back? This guy seemed to be at every game. He even gave motivational speeches to the players before playoff games. Since they haven't made the playoffs the last few years, he's nowhere to be found. I hope it stays that way. He seems to jump on the bandwagon of whoever is winning. You're a talented singer Rony. Why not just let your talent speak for itself?

To his credit, he has admitted that he asked the realtor not to rent to Jewish women because he found them 'scary'. At least he didn't come out and say he was misquoted. How come the only time we see the word Semitic, is when it has the word anti- in front of it? I've never heard someone referred to as being pro-Semitic. Anyway, it was not a smart thing to say when you make your living in a city in which half the population is Jewish. Looks like the Detroit Tigers may have found themselves a new Irish Tenor. Sorry, baldy. You just 'jumped the shark'. See ya.
ALCS notebook: Yankees singer gets benched for remarks*

Friday, October 16, 2009

Moscow Mayor Wants to Control Weather

Don't look now. The future is here. Yuri Luzhkov, the current mayor of Moscow, wants to tinker with the weather and dictate how much snow the city gets to reduce snowplow costs. He wants to use liquid nitrogen, cement particles, and other substances to kill clouds in the summer.

It's never a good idea to fool around with mother nature. Critics in the field of science feel the same way. One unnamed urban expert said, 'The traffic jam in the winter will effect everyone, including the Moscow government officials themselves, as they commute from their villas outside of the city.' Just like Buffalo's leaders, it appears Moscow's leaders don't live in their city, either.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Balloon Brat

This little punk should be grounded. The story of the six year old Denver boy and his runaway balloon should end today, but now it will take on a life of it's own. Thanks to 24 hour tabloid news, we'll be hearing about the balloon boy until he heads off to college. Keep your eye on this little brat's father. He already appeared on the show Wife Swap and he's a self professed 'storm chaser'. I don't even know what that means and I'll probably have to look it up. The father's hobbies include looking for extraterrestrials and building flying saucers. Looks like dad likes to be the center of attention so expect him to try and capitalize on his 15 minutes. My first impression is that he looks like a creep. Hey idiot. Stop looking for ET and try watching your kids?

The story does have a surreal Wizard of Oz quality to it, though. We all remember the balloon scene from the land of Oz. When you woke up today, I'll bet the last thing you thought people would be talking about was a story about kid and a weather balloon (and one that didn't even involve Michael Jackson). This story is a nice segway to an 80s classic. I think we'll go with the English version over the German one:

6-year-old Colorado boy found alive after setting balloon adrift -*

A Swing and a Miss

The town of Grand Island has asked the local swingers group to change their itinerary for this weekend's convention at the Grand Island Holiday Inn. Body painting and the 'Club Erotica' dance party have been scratched along with a few motivational speakers and power point presenters. By the way, are these convention goers called delegates?

Honestly, who really cares what people do behind closed doors? None of them are committing any crimes. They are all adults and are all contributing to the local economy. It looks like Reverend Steve Whateverhislastname is trying to get his name in the local papers. What ever happened to helping poor families or the elderly? Isn't that the role of a minister?

Weirder than the people attending this convention are the people writing down license plate numbers in the parking lot. I thought I had a lot of free time. People in glass houses...Ah never mind. Thurman Thomas' statue, swingers, Dick Jauron's billboard? Wake me up when we have some real news stories.

Godfather's Godson No Longer With Us

Vito Corleone's (Marlon Brando) godson from The Godfather movies died this week in Pennsylvania. Al Martino, who played the singer/actor Johnny Fontane was 82. The character was rumored to be based on the real life exploits of Frank Sinatra. Here is a great scene in which Fontane begs his Godfather to help him land a movie role. This led to the director turning Vito Corleone down and waking up with the head of his expensive horse in bed beside him.

Martino was not related to former South District Councilmember Mary Martino, known to some as the devil's daughter. He died in the Philadelphia suburb of Springfield, Pa. Here is the song he sang at the wedding of Vito's daughter.

'Godfather' singer Al Martino dies at 82 -*

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Paladino Gives Buffalo School Board an Education

Buffalo School Board Member Ralph Hernandez, also known as "tattoo".

Business developer Carl Paladino spoke at the latest Buffalo Board of Education meeting on Wednesday. He criticized the board's decision to block the charter schools from busing their students. He suggested the board create a boarding school for troubled youth.

Superintendent James Williams responded in an unprofessional manner by calling Paladino, a self made successful businessman, an ignorant SOB. This sounds like the pot calling the kettle black. I wonder what the Memphis school district would think if they heard such language? Williams then asked Paladino to return the $470,000 he earns from the Buffalo school system.

Giving money to the Buffalo schools would be like giving money to a heroin addict. These people don't care about "the children" as Williams spouts every time there is a camera in front of him. They would just use it to create more jobs for suburban residents like James Kane and Dave "Donuts" Thomas. It's politics as usual at these meetings as the board and Williams do nothing but pat themselves on the back. If you're ever suffering from insomnia, I suggest you watch one of these meetings on the government channel. To hear them talk, Williams and the board make it sound like the Buffalo schools are the model for all other school districts in our area to follow. They can't find anyone to sub in Buffalo because the schools are in such a state of disarray. Paladino is the only one telling it like it is. He speaks in regular plain English, a language that Williams and the arrogant school board members could never comprehend. They don't like to hear the truth because the board knows people might start holding them accountable for the sad state of the schools.

Sitting right next to Williams at these sham meetings is Ralph Hernandez. He got elected by talking about reform and was a frequent critic of Williams a few years back. The word on the street is that Williams bought him off by putting half of Hernandez' family on the payroll and supporting him for Board President. You hear this guy on the radio and he sounds like Joe Pesci. Then, you see him on TV next to Williams, and he looks like a mafia Don, all 5 ft. 3 of him. All the school board members have other full time jobs. Most are on some sort of government payroll and wouldn't know what it means to take a risk (like Carl Paladino did). Ralph Hernandez is the rare exception. Here's rare footage of Ralph Hernandez working at his full time job. My apologies to Herve' Villechaize:

Paladino blasts School Board for limiting charter school busing*

Captain Lou Albano- Dead at 76

Wrestling manager "Captain" Lou Albano died today at the age of 76. From New York City, Albano was the most hated man in wrestling for 15 years, according to the WWE's official website. Albano was the manager of the Wild Samoans as well as the Fabulous Moolah. Perhaps he is best known for starting a feud with pop star Cindy Lauper in the mid 1980s based on Albano's chauvinistic beliefs. Here is a clip which shows exactly when their feud began on Piper's Pit. Lauper was just starting to become popular. Albano knew her on her way up, even appearing in her breakout video Girls Just Want to Have Fun. He tries to capitalize on her new fame (Albano was the Steve Pigeon of professional wrestling). In this clip, amongst other things, he tries to take credit for writing the love song Time After Time. Albano, known for his Hawaiian shirts and his rubber band wrapped beard, makes his appearance at about 2:20. If you get a chance, it's worth waiting for. R.I.P. Captain Lou.

Wrestler, personality Captain Lou Albano dies at 76 -*

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


I went to Walgreens tonight. Very exciting. I know. You might hear about it on the local news later.

I remember going to Dunnes Pharmacy on Seneca St. growing up. It was always dirty and smelled like Vix and old people at bingo. It was usually pretty crowded and that was in an era before most of the population were on various anti-psychotic medications. Drug stores have really evolved. In fact, 90% of the products at Walgreens aren't even of the medical variety. I like the store because it's clean and open 24 hours. Also, it's not big like Tops or Wegmans. You can walk through the whole store in under 20 minutes. Rite Aid closes early and is often too dirty.

Shampoo and razors were on my shopping list tonight. However, there were interesting things for sale on almost every aisle. They have many fleece products. Fleece is an essential for Western NY winters. I was going to buy a fleece blanket but decided it was too costly. I also noticed those Snuggies. They're the fleecelike blankets you wear like a coat at home when you're on the couch. Why didn't you or I come up with that idea? The people in those infomercials look too strange for me to buy one, though. One of the Snuggies is even designed with leopard spots on it. That's just too bizarre on several different levels. Pass.

I then found a giant pillow for under five bucks. I had to get it since one of my pillows at home shrunk. There's nothing worse than a shrunken pillow except maybe stepping in a cold puddle and getting your wet feet. I did that downtown one day at work and was sick for two weeks. There also was a pop-open laundry hamper for only four bucks. I was going to buy two but settled on one. It's nice but a little small. It only fits three days worth of clothes. I probably should have bought two. Live and learn, I guess.

There was a cool neck brace in the old people's section next to the walkers. I almost bought it. My neck hurts from excessive laptop blogging. I had to pass, though. When I get paid next week, I might get it. If I get in some kind of car accident later, it will be nice to have one handy.

I stopped at the school supply section out of habit. I'm at school every day and never see compuses or protractors anymore. I was going to buy one just in case I have to draw a circle around one of my blog pictures. Money's tight these days, though. I chose to wait.

Probably, the coolest thing I saw was a hands free device that lets you talk on your phone and drive. You know, we're all so important that we can't wait until we finish our drive to talk on the phone. It works through your car radio and is essentially a glorified speaker phone. You actually have to go to a specific FM station for it to work. I think it was station 99.3 but I'm not sure. At $20, I decided to pass until after I get the neck brace. Does anyone remember when the only people that had portable phones were doctors? It makes you wonder what doctors have now that you and I won't have access to until 2040. Who would have thought that a simple trip to the drug store would lead to so many questions? It's time to go to bed.

Dave's a Killer

What can I say? It was a very slow news day and I'm in too good of a mood to bash local political figures today. Hope the Sabres sign a few guys like this.

"Dave's out.Whose going to take his place?"

"Is the answer Jesus? "

This is one great line from a funny movie. Slapshot is a must see for any hockey fan. The Hanson brothers are as American as apple pie.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Yes We Can

Congratulations to President Obama on winning the Nobel Peace Prize based on his 4 terrific weeks in office. One of our staff photographers was able to snap this photo of Obama accepting the prestigious award in what appears to be my kitchen.

Random Thoughts From the Ghetto-Volume 9

I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and I begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...

- One piece of clothing you can't really wear anywhere is a ski mask. It probably would make sense for them to be popular in Buffalo from December until the end of February. However, unless you're gliding down the side of a mountain somewhere, people are going to think you're committing some sort of crime. Too bad.

-Next Bills home game, expect to see a few fans sitting in the stands with the paper bags over their heads. That never goes out of style and is always funny. I think it might have started with "the unknown comic" from the old gong show. Speaking of which, I'd like to see them bring back that show.

-Another thing that's starting to get funny are the post game "interviews" with Bills 91 year old owner Ralph Wilson. He's 91 years old. Leave him alone. He always tries to respond to the question before he's quickly whisked away by one of his handlers. Last week I think I heard him say, "What do I care about football? I'm 91 years old. It hurts every time I pee."

-From what I saw of it, that was one of the most boring Bills games ever played yesterday. The most exciting part of the game was when they showed a commercial for erectile dysfunction.

-I can always tell whether it's going to be a good day or a bad day. When I leave the house and can smell the cereal from the General Mills plant, I know it's going to be a nice day. When I leave the house and smell the rotton stench from Sorrento Cheese, I feel like turning around and going back to bed.

-Did I miss something? When did people start coughing into their elbows? I think it would be funny if people started coughing into their knees. I'd start this trend but I don't think I can get my knees up to my mouth anymore. Actually, I can. But some things are better left to the younger set.

-A few weeks ago, I criticized composite sketch artists. One group of people I think are incredible are forensic artists. These are the people that take human skulls and project what the person might have looked like. Sometimes, they look at pictures of missing people and project what they are going to look like years later. They are often very close. What an amazing talent.

-From the talented to the talentless. What is Don Paul still doing on television? This guy is so annoying. I watch channel 4 news until I see him and I switch over to another channel. Please don't try to be funny, Don. You are really strange. First of all, you went to school to be a weatherman. You are right about the weather as much as Danny Neaverath was and at least he was funny. If anyone from channel 4 finds this blog, please listen to your viewers. Set him free.

-These were just some random thoughts from the ghetto. No real people were hurt during the writing of this diatribe. Thank you for reading my crap. Go forth and sin no more.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


Did you see this story in today's Buffalo News? Ken "Pinto Kenny" Johnson will have attended his 250th straight Bills game this afternoon. His streak started in 1994. He not only goes to the home games. He also attends the away games and drives to them also, if it is less than a 10 hour drive. Talk about someone that needs to have his head examined. Johnson drives his 1980 Ford Pinto, which has 186,000 miles on it, to every home game. He also uses the hood of his car to grill hamburgers and chicken wings before each game. He's been to every home game since 1984.

This is the difference between being a fan and being a headcase. A fan might buy season tickets. Johnson's bizarre devotion to the team borders on fanatical. It might be time to make that appointment with the therapist like you've been thinking about, Pinty.

Breaking News...
One of our reporters spoke to Pinto immediately after today's Bills 6-3 loss to the Browns. He said he was no longer a fan of football and instead would probably be going to a movie next Sunday.

International Update:Chavez Tries to Ban Golf

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, dressed in his military outfit, called golfers "lazy", "bourgois", and said "there is no justification for a golf course within a city". The Caracas Country Club in Venezuela is comprised of the country's wealthiest families (just like the Caz golf course). This was Chavez' way of telling the people that he is one of them and not in cahoots with the country's rich snobs.

A sure way to tell whether a leader is crazy is when they put on the military suit. Very symbolic. Sometimes I think these guys just never got tired of playing with GI Joes when they were kids. This guy is hysterical. If an American leader talked like this, he'd be taken away by men in white suits.

I'm not a big fan of the sport but I don't begrudge people who play golf. I tried it once and just couldn't hit the damn ball. If I want to take a walk, I'll walk to the store. Anyway, to say golf is only played by wealthy snobs is a bit unfair of Chavez. Perhaps he forgot about the Cinderella story of a former assistant greenskeeper, now on his way to becoming a masters champion at Augusta...

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Something Needs To Be Done

I was driving by the Southtowns YMCA the other night. What a beautiful building. The facilities inside are second to none. I thought it is a great place for people like you and I to go exercise. But then I started thinking about the elite S. Buffalo families. Regular readers of this blog know the 10 families I'm referring to. Where are they supposed to go? They shouldn't have to go anywhere near us. They are way too important. Can you imagine if they had to share the same pool water as us common folk? The Saturn Club and the BAC are ok but these people need something less public and more secluded. If we're lucky, after they build the health club, they might let one of us come in and change the chlorine in their olympic sized pool (after hours of course).

Then I got to thinking. What about the schools in this area? Nichols, Nardin, and Park are all decent places for the run of the mill upper class to get an education. However, our privileged friends need something better. Something along the lines of a New England boarding school, so their mongoloid half bred kids can be far enough away from us untouchables. I can't understand why they're all mongoloid either. I mean, aren't first and second cousins supposed to mate and have kids? They do it in Alabama all the time.

I hope someone reading this can help us solve this dilemma. These people need our help. Can you imagine what would happen if they had to do more things side by side with us? Oh, the humanity. We need more country clubs, boarding schools, and restricted clubs. Tifft Farms playfield should be converted into a polo grounds so the elitists can impress their friends and socialize properly. I would be perfectly willing to pick up after the horses. It would be such an honor. Anything for the S. Buffalo, education hating, elitist, lazy inbred, politically entitled snobs.