So, you thought a lot of scumbags were in town for last weekend's Caz Carnival? That was nothing compared to the derelicts that attended South Buffalo Alive's annual Circle Jerk Parade this Sunday. If you want to call the "Garage sale Sign Lady" and 15 of her mayoral ass-kissing friends a parade. All the neighborhood all-stars were present and I was there to humbly basque in their greatness (with my camcorder running of course). Mickey Kearns was there, passing out quarters to the children at the parade, as well as dog biscuits (I'm not sure if the kids liked them). His group was a little small in numbers. You notice how the South Buffalo hangers-on and the spineless hacks gravitate towards the incumbants and the money?
While Mickey was passing out quarters to the children,mayor Urkel was there, passing out excuses to the adults. "I was unaware of this.""I had no idea this was going on."I'm hearing some bizarre stories involving His Honor Urkel and failed Sunset One restaurant owner Leonard Stokes, lately. These rumors are starting to become too plentiful to ignore...
Tim "Hortons" Kennedy marched with South Buffalo Alive. He almost finished the march, too. Who the hell put Jacobi's on the parade route anyway?...Oh well, so close. There's always next year.
Ray "Wrong Turn" McGurn was observed walking his School Board flunky Lou Petrucci around like a little sheepish puppy on a leash. Petrucci is rumored to be Higgins' and company's next yes-man in the County Legislature should "Hortons" be successful in buying the State Senate seat currently held by Bohunk Stachowski. Petrucci has no problem raffling off his integrity and does not stand for anything beyond the status-quo. I apologize for the brief clips. It's a long story involving my camera, youtube, megabytes, and 25 gypsys. I'll see you at the next parade. I'm beginning to like these events.
After the parade, the director realized that self-congratulatory notes to the Metro Community News weren't enough. She decided to have someone else hand her dozens of trophies as a reward for her tireless efforts at promoting herself, er, I mean the community.