Monday, July 26, 2010

Random Thoughts From the Ghetto-Volume 31

I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...

-I wonder where BP found the actor with the thick Louisianna accent that starts their commercial with, "I grew up on the Gulf Coast and I am going to do everything in my power..." Damage control at it's finest. Now, if they were only as good at fixing the damage to the well...

-One of my favorite opening scenes to a TV show was the Odd Couple. It was funny when Oscar tried to help the old lady across the busy street and got punched by the oversized Boy Scout.

-Power windows are the biggest joke of the 21st Century. They constantly break and are very expensive to have fixed. I never had a problem with manual windows and it did not require too much work to operate them. Power windows do not represent progress.

-If I had a nickel for every time someone started a sentence with, "Please don't let this end up on your blog", I'd have $2.85.

-Lebron James showed very poor judgement with his stupid TV show signing announcement on ESPN. ESPN showed poor judgement in airing it. What a slap in the face to Cleveland and small market cities everywhere. I hope this clown never gets a championship ring.

-People just refuse to accept that the WWF is now known as the WWE. The World Wrestling Federation was forced to make the change years ago after the World Wildlife Foundation sued them. Still, every time a game gets out of hand, I hear somebody say, "What is this, the WWF?" I guess accepting change is difficult for some people.

-One sure sign you're in the ghetto is when people stop their cars in the middle of the street to chat. I might do this once in awhile, but there is always a slight sense of urgency if there is a car behind me. Not these people. You're trying to drive from one end of the street to the other? How is that more important than the conversation I'm having in the middle of the street about how to scam the Social Services Department? They don't have a clue.

-Fortune cookies are always so upbeat. You will find true happiness. Good fortune awaits you. Your hard work will finally pay off... If I owned a Chinese restaurant, I'd love to throw in a few that said things like, "You will leave here and get bitten by a rabid dog" or "You will suffer a massive heart attack and barely survive" or "Your wife will leave you for another woman."

That's all I got. Go forth and sin no more.

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