Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Random thoughts from the ghetto-Volume 59

I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...

-Either it's 1982 and we're trapped in a time warp or all the Wilson Farms have been taken over by 7-Eleven. That happened quick.

-Remember when the Big Gulp was considered obscenely large? Now, it could pass for a medium drink at Burger King/McDonald's. Man, have we gotten fat.

-You know you live in South Buffalo when you hear bottle rockets in March. Just heard one the other night.

Fireworks in Neighborhood 1

-I wonder if Cooter from The Dukes of Hazard was ever tested for venereal disease? You have to live pretty hard to earn a nickname like that.

-Speaking of the Dukes of Hazard, the all time worst snowjob ever was when the producers tried to replace Bo and Luke...

with Coy and Vance...

After that fiasco, the original Duke brothers probably received 650 million dollars and one of Uncle Jessie's kidneys during their contract negotiation.

-Has a commercial ever been more overplayed than the women with the green bikini? It's on every 45 seconds during the Sabres games.

-I notice bald guys, especially celebrities, find countless reasons to wear hats in public.

-This one's right up there with stepping on a rake and having it come up and hit you in the nuts. Have you ever had your hat fly off your head on a windy day? It happened to me the other day during our 60MPH monsoon. Luckily, I grabbed it before the next big gust. Phew.

-Congratulations to the South Buffalo entitled political class. In the last two weeks, 3,500 people have read this blog, where I exposed your $88,500/yr flunkie. We've talked about how he gets his money from New York City scum, has never applied for a job in his life, and is willing to lie to the same 3,500 people in order to get elected. People all over the neighborhood and beyond are talking about the latest anointing taking place. You guys are really showing me.

Fish from Barney Miller is a guy most people probably think is dead. He played an elderly man in the 1970's for God's sake! It was erroneously reported that he had died in both 1982 and 1987. He was in fact murdered, but that was in the Godfather II. Actor Abe Vigoda is 92 years young.

-Whose idea was it to put cheese on the McDonald's Filet O Fish?


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