Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Liquid Gold

Did you hear about this one? Thieves have been shoplifting Tide Detergent in obscene numbers all over the country lately, but authorities couldn't figure out why. Turns out, it is because of the huge profits available on the black market for the expensive name brand product. In fact, in the ghetto, the soap is now considered a form of currency along with food stamps, prescription drugs, and Horny Goat Weed...

Why Tide? Well, the retail price is steadily high -- between $10 to $20 a bottle -- so thieves can get $5 to $10 a bottle on the black market or even by reselling to stores, according to the Daily.

"There's no serial numbers and it's impossible to track," Detective Larry Patterson of the Somerset, Ky., Police Department, where authorities have seen a huge spike in Tide theft, told The Daily. "It's the item to steal."

In a strange twist, authorities have taken a proactive approach to combat the rash of thefts. Some stores in California have implanted a small microchip on the underside of the bottles. Should the product get past the cashiers, a red ultraviolet light emits a strong signal alerting the stores security staff. So, I guess you can say the thieves are literally caught "red handed." What will they think of next?...

Sudsy Crime Spree Sweeps Nation: Stealing Tide:

*(Note: The last paragraph in the preceeding article is not true. It's always been a goal of mine to start an urban legend. So, when someone tells me about Tide and the "ultraviolet microchips" used to combat shoplifting them, I'll know I've been successful.)


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