Kid's days are back at Doc Sullivan's! Bring your kids (ages 18-24) on Thursdays from 5-8PM. There will be clowns, balloons, and magicians. Mention that you just returned home from quitting school and get a free job with the city!
No ambition? No problem! All you need is proof of city residency (just kidding Jim Kane, Jim Comerford, and Dave Thomas), proof that your kid has held at least one mayor's summer youth position, and an ability to prostitute yourself to whomever Brian Higgins tells you to. Music will be provided by Willie Schoellkopf and The Usual Suspects. Father Joe and Father Art will be there (assuming the TV cameras are there too) to offer celebratory prayers to the patron saint of ass kissers. Come join us and make sure you leave your self-respect at the door! Remember to drink responsibly. But if you get pulled over on the way home, just mention your uncle's name and I'm sure you'll get out of it!