Thursday, August 25, 2011

Washington's Closet Queens

I'm not homophobic. I could care less whether someone is straight or gay. However, some of these Washington politicians have provided some great entertainment during the last few years. It's funny watching these married men, trained to be professional liars, come up with the worst excuses imaginable after they've been caught with their pants down.

The latest one is Indiana Congressman Phil Hinkle.

Hinkle used Craigslist recently to meet at an Indianapolis Hotel with a male escort. After he was caught, he said he was not gay, it wasn't sexual, and he paid the young man $80 to "talk about baseball"...???

Kameryn Gibson, the 18-year-old who said he was looking for a "sugga daddy" in the Craigslist posting, told The Star that he tried to leave the room that night and called his sister Megan after Hinkle identified himself as a lawmaker. He also said Hinkle tried to keep him from leaving, exposed himself and then -- after his sister arrived -- offered them $100 cash, an iPad and a Blackberry to keep quiet.
Hinkle: I paid young man $80 for encounter | The Indianapolis Star |

Before Hinkle Twinkle, there was Senator Larry "Wide Stance" Craig from Idaho.

Another closet freak, Craig was caught in an airport bathroom in Minnesota trying to proposition the guy in the stall next to him (who happened to be a Minneapolis police officer). He denied any sexual intent, instead saying it was simply his "wide stance" that confused the police officer. Sure, Larry. His wife was the only person in North America who believed him.

Let's not forget former Clarence Congressman Chris Lee.

If you think this spaz resigned over a shirtless photo, you're exactly the type of naive person these lowlifes like. Lee resigned because it was about to come out that the married father had a thing for cross dressers. Not that there's anything wrong with it. Initially, Lee tried to weasel out of it by saying his computer had been hacked. When the press wasn't buying it and more trannies started to surface, he finally began packing his bags (and all the whips and chains in them). Lee gets the Bill Paxon/Jim Keane Lifetime Achievement Award for not returning back to Western New York after his resignation.

House member Anthony Weiner is not gay, just a complete idiot.

Weiner came up with a comical excuse after sending lewd pictures of himself to several women. First, he said his Twitter account had been hacked (must have been the same guy who hacked Lee's computer). Then, he tried to say all the allegations were just weiner jokes about his last name. I'm not kidding. After more women (and pictures) came forward, Oscar Meyer finally came clean.

Eric Massa's attempts to argue his way out of a scandal might be my all time favorite.

After a few of Massa's male staff members alleged that he had sexually harassed them, he tried to convince the public it was just a joke gone bad. He said he and his staff members would sometimes engage in "tickle" parties on his office floor. He thought the general public would accept this as him being "one of the guys". Instead, his tales of tickling young male staffers were met with dead silence by most. Massa resigned and was last seen heading towards a highway rest stop...


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