Thursday, October 22, 2009

Random Thoughts From the Ghetto-Volume 10

I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and I begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...

- The government program that resulted in the most insults was the Reagan administration's 'free cheese' program. At some point, someone told Reagan the country's poverty problem could be solved by giving out free cheese products to the poor. I can't tell you how many times I heard someone start a rant by saying, 'I saw your mamma standing in the free cheese line' in the 1980s. Back then, people called it 'ribbing' when you insulted your peers. In the 90s, they called it 'curving'. Today, I don't hear it much with the school kids. I guess that's one area where we've come to evolve as a species.

-Sailors and truckers might disagree but I think the people with the worst language are garbagemen. You do that for enough years and everything starts to hurt. I worked as a garbageman briefly during the 90s and I started swearing at the drop of a hat. It might be slightly easier now with the mechanical totes but back then it was tough work. Also, it seemed like in Buffalo, every garbage lifter was Irish and every foreman was Italian.

-I don't care what medicines they come up with. The best cure for the common cold is chicken soup, water with lemon or honey, warm salt water, and rest. Everything else just hides the symptoms a little. These things actually speed up the healing process. Nothing else works.

-The best night spot downtown is the Pearl St. Grille. You can always go there and find a nice crowd. It's always a relaxed atmosphere and the staff is always very accommodating. They also have great food. You go there and you almost forget you're in the vast wasteland known as downtown Buffalo. This place is so big it never gets overcrowded but there always is a big crowd there. It's a great place to watch a sporting event also.

-I was driving down Mckinley Pkwy the other day and I saw the new statue of 'the Irish immigrant'. In front of it, in bold letters, it says 'another South Buffalo Alive Project'. I have never seen a group consisting of three people, who was better at self promotion than this group. Another S. Buffalo Alive Project? Give me a break. That's the only one of their projects I can name. This group gets money from almost every branch of local government to plant flowers and constantly promote themselves in the Metro Community. The balloon boy's father thinks this groups leader is excessive in her self-promotion efforts. What a complete waste of tax dollars. Last I saw, their leader was trying to scare people into thinking they were going to move Cazenovia Park. Yeah, that's going to happen. Some bright people over there.

-They can call it Gallagher Beach. They can call it whatever they want. The only thing most of us will ever call it is it's given name: Welfare Beach. Speaking of which, I always had great respect for anyone that jumped off of Cargills into Lake Erie. They had more courage than I ever would.

-Do you remember the Branch Davidians from Waco, Texas? In 1993, they were holed up in their commune for months at the orders of their leader, David Koresch. The standoff lasted for months and had a tragic ending culminating with a huge fire and many deaths. Koresch himself had somebody shoot him rather than die in the fire with the rest of his congregation. There is a group of followers that believe Koresch is going to rise from the dead in 2012 and cast judgement on all nonbelievers. If he does that, I hope he at least gets his own reality show. Ok. I had no joke but wanted a good segway to play this song. I heard it on the radio today and haven't heard it in awhile. Go forth and sin no more.

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