Monday, September 28, 2009

Random Thoughts From the Ghetto-Volume 7

I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and I begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...

It's late September and I am really glad I'm not back at school...

-There will be a benefit for Mike Kindred this Friday, October 2nd from 5:30-11:ooPM at the Knights of Columbus (261 S. Legion Dr.). Mike was diagnosed with MS and the illness has been particularly tough on his family. Mike is married to the former Jenny Lyons (St. Agatha's Alumnus) and they have five children. There will be 50/50, beer, pop, activities for kids. It's a great cause and I hope you can attend and help spread the word to others.

-It's always funny when someone has too much to drink at a Bills game and runs out onto the field. The security guards all get caught up in the action and they all want to 'make the tackle'. The crowd wants to see the Fred Jackson wannabee make it all the way to the end zone. I guess we're easily amused but with the NFL these days, it has to be more exciting than the game. It's become so common, it's often the first or second question people ask when they hear you were at the game. "How was the game? Did anyone run out on the field?"

-When did pro sports stop becoming fun? They used to be a way for us to escape from our miserable lives, if only for brief periods of time. I caught some of the Bills post game press conference yesterday. They were dissecting each play as if the result hinged on a possible cure for cancer. What about this play? Did you see the zone three coverage or were you fooled? Do you think we should have tried more blitzes or was a man to man defense the way to go? Do they know that these guys got to where they are because of their athleticism and not their brains? Don't they realize that half of these guys can't read? Just sit back and enjoy the game and accept it for what it is. A game.

-Ok. Cell phones have been around long enough. The grace period is over. If you're at a restaurant, turn your ringer to vibrate. How many times have you heard,'the Saints come marching in' while your trying to enjoy your meal? Also, do people realize how loud they are on those things? The whole restaurant doesn't need to know that your hemorrhoids are starting to flare up again. Really, turn your phones off for twenty minutes.

-It's really time to do away with the composite sketches in criminal cases. It is never accurate and has never led to the capture of anyone. Remember the sketch of the unibomber? Didn't look anything like professor Teddy Kascinski after they caught him. All they do is confuse people. I remember all the sketches of the bike path killer had a full head of hair. The victims reported him having thinning hair twenty five years ago. The police were shocked that Altemio Sanchez was found to be bald. Guess what. If someone had thinning hair twenty five years ago, is anyone really surprised that they're bald today? This makes me feel safe on the streets. When's the next police exam?

-I always like when the FBI comes up with a personality profile of a suspect. Whenever someone does something strange, they always say, 'we believe the suspect is probably a white male, a loner, has difficulty holding down jobs, could be a drifter, etc.' That's what they said about the DC sniper case a few years back. Then they caught the guy, and he was a black dude traveling around with some black kid that looked like Emmanuel Lewis from the TV show Webster. I guess he was the exception to the rule. Whenever someone commits an antisocial act, why do they always assume it's a wacked out white guy? Not that I have a chip on my shoulder or anything.

-I was walking in the hallway at school on Friday. I saw a 5th grade student walking the other way. He started taking a "boxing" stance towards me so I did the same thing. He said,'Mr. Blake. I'm going home early today.' I said, 'Cool. I wish I was. How come?' 'I got head lice!' was his response.

-This column might be cancelled next week as I feel like I might be running out of talent.

-One of my friends coaches the Math team at Burgard HS. I told him he probably has his work cut out for him since they're listed as one of the poorest performing schools in the state. He said,'No. The two Sri Lankens came out for the team this year.' Had I only known that, I would've
made them contenders for the title.

-I love these people that write to the Metro community news or like being on local news in an effort to promote themselves as community leaders. They think they are movie stars. I know of one local activist and two local priests that must have all three area news stations on their phone's speed dial. At some point, someone lied to them and told them they were important. It reminds me of a scene from the Wizard of Oz. In the beginning of the movie before the storm, one of the farm hands was balancing on a ledge. He posed and sarcastically said,'someday, they are going to erect a statue of me in this town!' Then, Dorothy's aunt replied, 'Well, don't start posing for it now.' Truer words were never spoken. Go forth and sin no more...

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