Buffalo Schools Residency Violator James Kane
The Niagara Falls City School District fired seven school employees for violating the district's residency policy. The district stated that it's policy was a way to stabilize the city's struggling tax base and give city children positive role models in their neighborhoods.
Upon hearing the news, Buffalo Schools Superintendent Dr. James Williams immediately called chief of staff James Kane into his office and suggested they do the same thing in Buffalo. Kane reminded Williams that he lives in a Buffalo suburb and this could present a problem. He might actually have to live next door to city children. Williams said, "We can't fire one of the Kanes. You guys are privileged and entitled and should be allowed to do whatever you want. Besides, if we fire you, it might lead the city to fire residency violators James Comerford (E. Aurora) and Tony Farina (N. Tonawanda). We also would have to fire our director of physical education, Dave "donuts" Thomas (E. Amherst). We'll just say you have "unique qualifications" (ie. the right last name, being related to a long line of political hacks, etc."
In unrelated news, Superintendent Williams announced he was addicted to cough syrup.
Schools fire 7 for not living in Falls*
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