Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Random Thoughts From the Ghetto-Volume 3

- Most benefits are important and a great opportunity to help someone in need. I hope to promote benefits for any readers of this blog. But it is funny when you hear about someone having a benefit for a life threatening illness, only to find out later on that they were actually pretending to be sick. This happens probably once a month across the country. My one friend told me a story about a guy who had a huge benefit for a faulty heart. Three days after the fundraiser the guy was playing softball and making diving catches! My friend said his teammates weren't sure whether to say, "nice grab!" or " hey, can I have my $20 back?"

- Speaking of fraud, the Little League World Series is taking place this weekend in Williamsport, Pa. Remember a few years back when the media was labeling the pitcher of the Brooklyn team (they were mostly from the Dominican Republic living in Brooklyn) as the next "el Duque". That was before the kid in the 11-13 year old tournament was found to be 16 years old. The kid shaved, drove his car to the game, and then took the mound to strike out 11 year olds. Once his doctored birth certificate was discovered, his feats weren't nearly as impressive.

-Speaking of Williamsport, Pa., on a family vacation to Washington D.C., we slammed into a guardrail on a metal bridge connecting Williamsport to South Williamsport, Pa. and I was struck in the head by a glass jar of peanut butter. It had been projected into the air upon impact and must have been going at least 50 MPH. Everyone kept on saying, "Well,at least nobody got hurt." Meanwhile, I couldn't see straight or walk and I had the words Peter Pan embedded in my forehead. I've never been back to Williamsport, Pa.

-If you go to Tops or Wegmans, please leave your carts in one of those cart lanes when you are finished shopping. Carts are rolling around the lot and blocking people from parking spots. If you really want to help out, why not bring your empty cart back into the store and make things easier for the 16 year old cart attendant? In other countries, people ride their bikes 10 miles just to get a gallon of milk. I think we could walk 100 feet to make everyone's life a little easier.

-I don't blame Congressmen for not holding town meetings on health care. These "birthers" who don't think Obama was born here are wackjobs. They send out emails instructing people on how to disrupt the town meetings and then complain when the Congressmen cancel the meetings. If you want to have a debate on health care, have a debate on health care. There's no reason to turn these events into a circus to promote some sort of political agenda.

-Some people say sites like this could be responsible for the death of the traditional newspaper as we know it. Advances in technology have gotten crazy over the years and I don't always view them as progress. Take cell phones, for example. Now, everyone has a cell phone and there isn't any need for payphones. Sure, they are convenient but I wish people would consider the ramifications of this so called "progress". What happens if superman returns to planet earth and needs to save someone's life? With no phone booths, where's he supposed to change in a hurry? The local YMCA?

-Speaking of politicians, mayoral candidate Michael "Mickey" Kearns certainly wears some colorful suits. I've seen him on the campaign trail with bright yellow suits and powder blue outfits. In fact, I'm pretty sure in some states it's illegal for white guys to wear some of the suits Mickey owns. I wore a tie with a Buffalo on it once and I thought that was bold. So, if you're scoring at home, we have a black mayor (Steve Urkel) who thinks he's white, running against a white councilman that sometimes dresses like he's black. Hey Mickey, you know I'm voting for you but Deion Sanders just called. He wants his clothes back!

Go forth and sin no more.

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