Tuesday, July 24, 2012

White trash

The white trash species is an interesting group. Very easy to spot in a crowd. Probably smoking with an outdated hairstyle, they like to settle their many disputes "Springer style" with loud, pointless arguments. Impartial to ponytails (if male) and cigarettes, you can tell they've been to some type of rehab program within 30 seconds of meeting them.

Go to any public meeting in WNY and they are usually there. Multiple tattoos, often way off the topic, hoping the government will give them more things for free. Their dislikes include proper English, personal hygiene, and adults who don't follow professional wrestling.

They are usually very loud, as it is important for them to make scenes in public as often as possible. They like to cause trouble and often search for other likeminded intellectuals to gang up on the rest of us.

Neighborhood carnivals are a big gathering place for the trashers. It's like one big convention. The only other time you will find more of them in one place is at the Erie County Holding Center. At the carnivals, they love playing I Got It or throwing darts at multi-colored balloons. Their main achievement in life was winning a Loverboy mirror in 1982 at Darien Lake.

Don't forget custody disputes. They think everyone else wants to hear about their white trash breeding partners. Of course, they all have multiple baby daddies or baby mammas who don't pay child support. They breed like rabbits and live off drama.

We support them with our taxes, yet they're the ones setting off Roman Candles until 3AM every July 4th. Lighting the wick and walking away must give them some sense of self importance. Who needs a job when you have a satellite on your roof with 1,500 channels? Did I mention video games? They hate wearing shirts, and the local police  know them on a first name basis. Sub-human white trash: I hate you with the red hot intensity of 1,000 suns. Please stay away from me. In a perfect world, you'd be sterilized, but unfortunately we do not live in a perfect world.

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