I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...
-The worst sitcom gag repeated hundreds of time: the accidental breaking/almost breaking of an expensive antique vase.
-Whenever a church scandal takes place or money is missing, the first person I suspect is the organist.
-Why do people hate it when others read the newspaper they are reading behind their backs? Are they worried the other person is going to get the news first?
-Misguided racist quote of the week from KKK member/Howard Stern regular Daniel J.Carver: "At the rate they're multiplying in this country, someday the Mexicans are going to outnumber the humans."
-I hate it when certain white people use fake accents in the company of black people in some sort of veiled effort at street credibility. Here's an idea crackers: Speak normal.
-Is their a smell more distinct than Murphy's Oil Soap? And did they have some sort of contract with every Catholic School in America?
-As if we needed another reason not to vote for Mitt Romney, he is being supported by Ted Nugent and Kid Rock.
-I don't know what these stupid "Google" glasses are and nor do I want to. Is this what the future is supposed to look like? It's 2012. I should have a robot serving me breakfast in the morning before I get into my flying car.
-Even politicians' dogs drive me nuts. Talk about boring. They have to have to be politically correct, so they give them unoffensive names like Bo (Obama) and Checkers (Nixon). ive met a President willing to have a pitbull as the First Dog.
-I hear the bin Laden family of 14 has been released from prison. What's next? A reality show? Keeping up With the Extremists.