Tuesday, May 11, 2010

President's Itinerary

We have obtained a bootlegged copy of President Obama's itinerary for his trip to Buffalo on Thursday...

12:25 PM- Arrival at Buffalo Niagara International Airport.

1:05 PM- Tour of an East side crack house.

1:35 PM- The President will go shopping at the luxurious Main Place Mall followed by a stop at the new Bass Pro downtown store.

2:10 PM- He will take in a major league baseball game in 20 degree weather at Pilot Field, Dunn Tire Park, or whatever they are calling the stadium this week.

2:25 PM-the President will enjoy a great Polish Sausage at the Broadway Market.

2:35 PM- He will be treated at ECMC for injuries suffered while getting mugged outside the Broadway Market.

2:55 PM- Brian Higgins will give him a tour of Welfare Beach. Secret service agents have speculated the President might attempt to jump off of Cargills into the water.

3:20 PM- Departure at Buffalo International Airport

4:05 PM- Treatment for depression at nearest Washington DC hospital...

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