I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and I begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...
-I was talking to someone in a large group a few weeks ago. We were talking about people who were born with bizarre names. He told me his father's name was Fred Krueger. I am not making this up. I asked him if his father knew a guy named Mike Myers or a Jason Voorhees.
-Facebook.com is a very scary site. I post links to my blog on it and put up pictures on the South Buffalo Soccer Alumni & Friends page and that's about it. I really don't want to know that you love your family or are having a terrible day. However, I do look at the status updates from time to time. They're like a bad traffic accident. You don't want to look but you cannot avoid it. I've found myself talking to people in real life and I know things about them that I feel I shouldn't no, so I just pretend not to know. I wonder if anybody else has done the same thing?
-I've discovered what I call the Metro Community News White Trash Test. If you want to know the worst house(es) on your street, check to see who still has their Metro Community Newspaper on their railing on Thursday. (They are distributed on the weekends). If so, it is usually accompanied by an uncut lawn with garbage on it. I'll bet, this is the worst house on your street. It shows they don't like to read, don't care about what is going on in the community, and don't pick up after themselves. The triple crown.
-I read recently that the WWE announced it is banning chairshots to the head due to wrestlers suffering too many concussions. It's good to know the WWE has finally decided to enforce the rules after 30 years. What's next? Are they going to ban Mr. Fuji dust and the dreaded foreign object as well?
-When we were kids, parents of people my age used to threaten to drop their kids off at Father Baker's in Lackawanna if they did not behave. The 21st century equivalent is to threaten to sell your kids on Ebay. One guy around here last week actually did put his kids up on Craigslist.
-Whenever someone says they are sick, people always respond by saying,"it's going around." I do this myself. Is there ever a time when it's "not" going around?
-It's always funny when the city or county announce that they have a surplus. Then, two weeks later, they announce that they're going to go bankrupt if the state doesn't come through with more aid. Which is it?
-The Sabres flat out stink. It's funny how they won their division yet everyone expected them to lose in the playoffs. Connolly and Roy looked more like Siegfried and Roy against Boston.
-A few people have asked me if I knew who the anonymous person was that comments on some of my posts. I really didn't care because I had him pegged as a spoiled, lazy, entitled quitter anyway. A few tipsters have both given me the same name. I had wondered why this person was too embarrassed to say who he was until I was told who he probably was. Now it all makes sense. If I was this person and I flopped as badly as he did, I wouldn't want my identity made public either. Don't worry about me. I'm just a nobody from the ghetto. I have no influence. Don't worry about the 1,ooo people that read this blog every week. I would never bring up a major "incident" in Washington that took place this year involving this underachiever and the help he got from a certain local Congressman. There are lots of canaries down by the docks. Don't you think I hear things? I have to go now. My back is really bothering me.