As reported in the Buffalo News, a Sydney Crosby fan robbed the pretzel stand at the Gonorrhea Mall yesterday:
Sidney Crosby fan robs Galleria pretzel shop
An armed man took an undetermined amount of cash from a pretzel shop in the Walden Galleria on Tuesday morning before barricading a store employee in the office and apparently fleeing from the mall wearing a stolen Sidney Crosby hockey jersey, Cheektowaga police said.
The worker at Auntie Anne’s pretzel stand told police he was robbed by a man with a handgun as he opened the store for business at about 8:50 a. m. Following the theft from the office safe, the robber barricaded the victim in the office by pushing a file cabinet against the door, police said.
In a related story, twenty five minutes later, a man dressed in a Marshawn Lynch jersey robbed another store. This crime was solved when police determined the suspect was Marshawn Lynch himself.