Monday, August 20, 2012

Mayor Brown announces new gun sellback program

(Pictured here are some of the guns turned in at last year's gun buyback program in Buffalo.)

With  the great success of recent gun buyback programs, Mayor Urkel has decided to offer a gun sellback initiative. Gang members, thugs, and disgruntled wives are invited to stop by city hall this Friday from 11AM-2PM to purchase new and "gently used" firearms.

Uzi's, AK 47s, and squirt guns will be on sale. There will be no questions asked and no identification required. The first 200 gun buyers showing up will receive a commemorative ankle bracelet signed by Byron Brown, Jr. There isn't enough violence in this city. We thought "Midnight basketball" would be the answer, but it didn't quite end poverty like we had hoped.

Chippewa was a great destination in the 90s, but when it became violent in recent years, that's when people really started having a good time. Thursday in the Square was fun. But it became more fun the last couple years when people stopped going out of fear of being mugged. Now, the Square is squareless and organizers have fled to the Harbor. 

Come on, Dan Derenda. We all know Urkel is useless, but can't you explain to him that programs such as this are a complete waste of money?
Buffalo Holding No Questions Asked Gun Buyback |

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