Sunday, April 8, 2012

Easter thoughts

Here's to the people who put all their eggs in one basket...

-As we speak, Tim Kennedy is walking around trying to find his Easter basket. This year, Brian Higgins hid it in a closet behind his trademark suspenders.

-Only two people in history have ever risen from the dead: Jesus Christ and the scientist from Back to the Future.

-The one character from the Bible every political person can relate to is Judas. But unlike the politicians around here, after he betrayed all of his friends, at least he had the decency to hang himself.

-Did the Roman soldier assigned to guarding Jesus' tomb lose his job over the whole fiasco?

-Nobody ever knows the exact date of Easter. The Catholic Church should just officially change it to the 1st Sunday after the Sabres officially get eliminated from the playoffs.

-Do animals celebrate the holidays? And, if so, what do turkeys eat on Thanksgiving?

-If you're smoking crack or crystal meth somewhere, you probably don't care very much about the religious significance of Easter.

-The Knights of Columbus (on South Legion Dr.) conducts the roughest Easter egg hunt in WNY. Every year, after the event, they release an injury report. What's the point of even signing up? Everyone knows the kids whose parents hide the eggs are given inside information. They might as well give them maps on where the golden eggs are hidden.

-I've run out of material and am going back to sleep.

One man caught on a barbed wire fence
One man he resist
One man washed up on an empty beach
One man betrayed with a kiss...


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