Saturday, September 10, 2011

Tales from 9/11

It's 4:30 in the morning and I'm not the least bit tired. So forgive me if the tone of my words is not too upbeat. I'm all for remembering 9/11/01. Just like the first time you read this blog or heard Joannie Loves Chachi was cancelled, we all remember exactly where we were when we heard the news of the first plane hitting the tower. The people who died on that day were very brave, especially those going back in to try and save others stuck inside the buildings.

What I'm really sick of hearing though, are these stories of near death. I'll guarantee most of them are outright lies. "My uncle was supposed to be at work at 8AM that day but he let someone in a wheelchair take his place on the subway train to work." Come on, dude. Your uncle works at night in Kansas City. Tell him to stop lying.

I know of at least one lady from South Buffalo who tells people she was supposed to be on one of the hijacked planes, but she opted for a later flight.Sure you were, honey. More people were supposed to be on those flights than supposedly attended the original Woodstock. Stop lying, woman. You weren't supposed to be on any flight and you're obviously just looking to be part of the story. If you want attention, do something more interesting than making up stories. Go rob a bank dressed as Darth Vader.

What about the guy who was supposed to be off that day, but decided to go in and catch up on some paper work? Or the person who was supposed to be on an earlier flight but cancelled and ended up sitting next to the Iron Sheik's nephew on one of the hijacked planes? The next time you hear someone tell one of these "fate" stories, please just say, "that never happened. You're a friggin' liar."

By the way, did I mention I was supposed to be on the Titanic, but instead I had to schedule an emergency appointment that day with my proctologist?


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