Fear the beard

I can't believe I've never seen this guy before. San Francisco Giants pitcher Brian Wilson looks like Ulysses S. Grant on crack.


I was at Casa De Pizza on Elmwood, eating some very good wheat pene, when I happened to look up at the TV screen. At first, I thought that maybe he'd escaped from some of weekend pass. I've never seen someone look this ridiculous in my life.

Besides the size of the thing, the most striking part of Wilson's beard is the color. It is jet black, unlike his actual hair, which looks brown. Wilson looks like he might be in the witness protection program or a really big fan of Fidel Castro...

It's a matter of instinct, it's a matter of conditioning,
It's a matter of fact.
You can call me Pavlov's dog
Ring a bell and I'll salivate- how'd you like that?
Dr. Landy tell me you're not just a pedagogue,
cause right now I'm

Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did.

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Slow news day

19 year old Niagara Wheatfield graduate Ricky Coates, no relation to former New England Patriots Tight End Ben Coates, grew his beard for 365 straight days. And of course, like everything else teens do nowadays, he videotaped it. Three months into his marathon, Coates could have stood inside a tent at Melody Fair and charged onlookers money to gawk at him. From channel 2...

WHEATFIELD, NY - After 365 days of growing out his facial hair, a Wheatfield man has shaved off his nearly one-foot-long beard.

Ricky Coates, 19, decided on January 1, 2010 that he would test his self-commitment by growing out his beard. He has grown it out in the past, but never for 365 consecutive days.

He has wanted to do this for a few years now, but never could because of formal occasions like prom, and graduation from Niagara Wheatfield High School, he says.

On January 1, 2011, Coates shaved off a grand total of 11 inches of beard off his face.

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