I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...
-I'm kind of surprised the half dollar never caught on. Quarters are extremely popular but how many fifty cent pieces do you carry?
-It's always funny when a prospective groom asks the bride's father for permission to marry her. What would he do if the father said no to the request?
-The Pro Bowl in football is one of the least watched events in professional sports. I'm sure someone will call me a racist for saying this, but wouldn't it be funny if they had the white players play against the black players? Although, the white team would have no Cornerbacks or Running Backs, it would at least make the game watchable.
-Whatever happened to Roebuck? He is like the Art Garfunkel of department stores.
-Did you hear what led to Elliot Spitzer being caught with the prostitute? He had hired David Patterson to be his lookout.
Drum punchline 2
-One of the most ridiculous things ever invented are polygraph tests. I don't think anyone should ever submit to them. Innocent people have been known to fail them and guilty people sometimes pass them. Despite this, people in law enforcement still talk about them as if they are 100% accurate. You might as well get one of those magic 8-balls and ask it if the suspect is innocent or guilty.
-Nothing in the history of mankind has been avoided more than "the plague".
-People who mail pipe bombs to others are quite inconsiderate folks. Has there ever been a female serial mail bomber?
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-It's always funny when a prospective groom asks the bride's father for permission to marry her. What would he do if the father said no to the request?
-The Pro Bowl in football is one of the least watched events in professional sports. I'm sure someone will call me a racist for saying this, but wouldn't it be funny if they had the white players play against the black players? Although, the white team would have no Cornerbacks or Running Backs, it would at least make the game watchable.
-Whatever happened to Roebuck? He is like the Art Garfunkel of department stores.
-Did you hear what led to Elliot Spitzer being caught with the prostitute? He had hired David Patterson to be his lookout.
Drum punchline 2
-One of the most ridiculous things ever invented are polygraph tests. I don't think anyone should ever submit to them. Innocent people have been known to fail them and guilty people sometimes pass them. Despite this, people in law enforcement still talk about them as if they are 100% accurate. You might as well get one of those magic 8-balls and ask it if the suspect is innocent or guilty.
-Nothing in the history of mankind has been avoided more than "the plague".
-People who mail pipe bombs to others are quite inconsiderate folks. Has there ever been a female serial mail bomber?
Share|
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