Thursday, September 1, 2011

Random thoughts from the ghetto-Volume 48


I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto...

What these random thoughts lack in quantity, they make up for in lack of quality...

-I was riding my bike on South Park the other day when a dog left it's porch and started to chase me. Then I heard the owner say, "Tupac! Get back here." They named the dog Tupac. Apparently, Biggie was already taken.

-There are two versions of the Gilligan's Island theme song. In one, they name all the people on the ship. In the other version, they name everyone except the professor and Mary Anne. When it gets to them, the singer says,"and the rest." I wonder how they felt about that?

-Every 10 years, the city's leaders are forced to redraw the council districts. People who don't understand the process get defensive when their new district is not the neighborhood they live in. For example, the "Lovejoy" District not only includes Lovejoy, but Kaisertown, the Valley, and parts of South Buffalo. "Fillmore" consists of Fillmore, the Old 1st Ward, and Allentown, and parts of the waterfront. So people don't get so bent out of shape, they should call each district 1, 2, 3, etc. Or better yet, just get rid of the entire council and switch to tribal leaders.

-A few years ago, National Fuel announced they were raising their rates because the previous winter had not been cold enough. If we have a harsh winter, does that mean they'll be lowering them next year?

-Speaking of winter, some of the gas stations really annoy me. I go to Noco because I put in my card and select the type of gas I want and pump. 15 seconds. At other stations, they ask you your zip code, debit or credit, whether you have their gas station's card, if you want a receipt, what your middle name is, and who your favorite Beatle was. Do they realize we live in Siberia and simply want to pump the gas and get back into our heated cars? Gas stations with pumps like this have lost at least one customer that I know of.

-Whenever someone does something heroic, like save a person's life, the reporter always asks them if they consider themselves to be a hero. The response is always, "No, I just did what anyone else would have done" or "I was just doing my job, mam." Just once, I'd love for someone to say, "Hell yea, I do consider myself a hero. In fact, I think they should name a street or a building after me tomorrow."


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